Episode Recap
Adult Sheldon mentions he was learning to enjoy the perks of university life, particularly the dorm room he’s been given to study and nap in. And since this is college, he’s even allowed to have girls in his room. After Mary finishes making Sheldon’s bed, he asks if she used the unscented detergent. Adult Sheldon mentions he even had a bathroom, which gave him a place to store all his sun screens and bug repellents. However, one thing he could not get used to was college kids’ love of rock and roll music. Sheldon is distracted from his work as he overhears music playing from the dorm next door.
When Sheldon goes next door to complain, Oscar answers the door and realizes it’s the smart kid. Sheldon explains the loud music is making it hard for him to study. Oscar is confused and asks if he means the game? After Sheldon says he isn’t familiar with today’s one-named pop stars, Oscar explains they’re playing a video game. Sheldon is surprised and admits he plays games a bunch. After Darren invites him in, Oscar mentions he saw a girl in Sheldon’s dorm. Sheldon explains that it must have been his mother. After Oscar mentions that he thought Mary was hot, Darren congratulates Sheldon on being more mature than Oscar. Sheldon tells him not to feel bad, he’s more mature than most people. Adult Sheldon says he had always been popular with grown-ups and the elderly, but now he’d won over undergrads. He was like a board game: fun for ages 9 to 90.
As they shop for clothes, Mary can’t believe the prices, and says she could make this dress for Missy herself. Meemaw reminds Mary she already has one child who gets picked on. When Missy comes out of the changing room in a skirt, Mary is concerned it’s too short. Mary asks Missy to put her hands down by her side, confirming her fear that it’s too short. Mary says the school rules dictate a dress must extend past her fingertips. Missy still wants the dress, saying she’ll wear it on weekends instead. Mary doesn’t want to waste her money on something her daughter can’t wear, but Meemaw offers to buy it instead. Mary relents and allows Meemaw to buy it for Missy, as long as she only wears it on weekends and with tights.
When George Sr. goes to see Principal Petersen in his office as requested, Petersen tells him to close the door. George realizes this can’t be good. After Petersen mentions that George’s team didn’t have a great year, George says he’s aware. Petersen says he’s hearing about it everywhere: the grocery store, the gas station, even the barber. George knows people are upset but insists he’s going to turn it around. Petersen warns George the boosters have their pitchforks out. When George asks Tom if he’s saying he’s losing his job, Petersem says he just wants George to speak to the boosters and offer them some encouragement. And say it like your job depends on it, Petersen adds. Not that it does… But it does.
Back in the guys’ dorm room, as Darren continues playing the game, Oscar gets hungry and proposes ordering food. Darren suggests Chinese food. After Oscar asks if he wants Chinese food, Sheldon reveals he’s never had the cuisine before. Darren says they get it two, three times a week. Sheldon thinks that seems excessive. When Sheldon phones home to ask if he can be picked up later, Mary says no as Meemaw’s already on her way. After Sheldon explains the people next door want him to try an egg roll, Mary is concerned, warning him not to take food from strangers. When Sheldon asks if they can at least have Chinese food for dinner, Mary says she’s making Rice-A-Roni.
When George returns to his office, Coach Wilkins jokes that he knows that look. Heartburn? Gas? George says he’s not in the mood, but Wayne offers to hook him up with some Tums. George explains that the boosters don’t think he’s doing a good job. George is dismissive of the boosters, saying they just give a little money to the team. George gives his time, his talent, his sweat. Do you see the boosters out there doing two-a-day training in summer? George says if the boosters really want to help they should give birth to stronger, faster kids, because theirs aren’t cutting it. George knows he has to speak to the parents, but Coach Wilkins wants to make sure he knows he can’t say that stuff about their kids. George insists he’s not going to insult their children, although it may come up organically.
When George goes into the kitchen in the morning, he finds the coffee pot empty. After Georgie admits he took the last cup, George says the rule when you finish the pot is you’re supposed to put another one on. Mary is surprised to hear that coming from George. After George asks Georgie why he’s reading his paper, Georgie says excuse me for keeping up with events of the day. George jokes that tomorrow’s headline will be “Father Strangles Son”, but Georgie says good luck as his horoscope says “things are looking up”. When Missy comes in dressed for school, Mary says she looks nice. “Nice and boring, thanks to you”, Missy retorts. Missy wants to get going, but George hasn’t had his cup of coffee yet, so Georgie offers to give her a ride. As a cranky George complains as he searches for the coffee filters, Mary tells him they’re in the cabinet where they always are. Georgie remarks that his parents are “fighting like the Serbs and Croatians in Bosnia.”
As Georgie drives Missy to school, he asks if their mom made her wear that outfit. After Missy admits she did, Georgie remembers that Mary did the same to him with pleated khakis. He looked like Pastor Jeff. Missy says Mary doesn’t know she brought a change of clothes with her. Georgie says good for her, admitting he tried to change the khakis into shorts but ended up looking like Sheldon. “Tragic”, Missy says.
After George and Coach Wilkins give opening remarks at the boosters meeting, a parent, Roy, asks a question about a coaching decision George made in a game last year. What was he thinking? Coach Wilkins says it’s a fair question, which makes George bristle. When George talks about the team’s difficulty with a “quarterback who had an uneasy relationship with... with holding onto the ball”, another parent, Floyd, wonders if George is blaming the kids? Well… Before George can say any more, Coach Wilkins jumps in to say no. George insists they’re great kids, have a lot of heart, but it’s a coach’s job to know when to pull back. After Floyd wonders if his strategy is to surrender, George insists that’s not what he’s saying. As the parents discuss a successful coach at another school who used to play professionally, George snaps that he only played two minutes in the big leagues. Two more minutes than you, Roy retorts. Coach Wilkins points out Vince Lombardi never played in the big leagues, prompting laughter from the parents at the comparison. George has had enough and says he doesn’t need to put up with this crap. Wilkins tells the parents what they’re seeing is the passion George brings to the job, but George says this is him running out of patience. Meeting over. As George storms out, Floyd jokes that they’ve just seen the “Cooper Surrender”.
At school, Missy emerges from a bathroom stall in her changed clothes, including the skirt Mary didn’t approve of. Missy has a confident smile as she checks her outfit in the mirror before walking out into the school hallway. Later that day, Meemaw opens the door to a crying Missy. When Meemaw asks what’s wrong, “Everything”, Missy sobs. After Meemaw asks if anyone died, Missy shakes her head. “Then we can fix it.”
In Meemaw’s kitchen, Missy tells her grandmother she was wearing the new skirt at school and felt really good. A flashback shows Missy’s two “friends” Heather B. and Heather M. walking by her locker. After Heather B. compliments the skirt, Heather M. calls Missy’s legs “so hairy”. “Ew.” “Gross.” Present: Missy thanks her meemaw after she describes the two Heathers as “those bitches”. When Meemaw wonders if that’s why Missy is now wearing sweatpants, Missy shakes her head and says it gets worse. Missy explains she got home and saw her Mom’s razor in the bathroom. After Meemaw asks if she saw shaving foam as well, Missy shakes her head. Meemaw hopes Missy might have seen some soap, water, lotion… anything? Missy keeps shaking her head and then rolls up her pant leg, leaving her grandmother speechless.
As Sheldon studies in his dorm room, there’s a knock at the door. After Sheldon answers the door to Darren, he wonders if there’s any chance Sheldon plays Dungeons and Dragons. “And how”, Sheldon says, explaining how he once created a campaign set in 1940s London featuring Alan Turing. After Darren invites Sheldon to their game tonight, from 7:00 until “whenever”, Sheldon says since his mom wouldn’t let him stay past six yesterday, she’ll never let him stay until “whenever.” Bummer.
Back home, as Mary prepares dinner, George grabs a beer from the fridge. Mary asks if he could go pick Sheldon up before he opens the bottle. “Do I have to?” Mary sarcastically says she’ll just do all the parenting around here then. George says he’s having a hell of a day, and asks for five minutes of peace. Mary wonders when she gets five minutes of peace, asking George to just take this one thing off her plate. Their argument is interrupted as George answers a phone call from Sheldon. Sheldon says his friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons, and asks if he can stay in his dorm room overnight, promising it’s safe. George says it’s fine with him. Sheldon thanks his dad and hangs up, remarking “that was easy”. When Mary asks George what that was about, he explains Sheldon’s gonna stay the night in his dorm room. Why would you let him do that? “One more thing off your plate,” responds George.
After George sits down in the den to drink his beer, Mary demands to know why he just told their son he could stay the night by himself. George says the campus is safe, and Sheldon’s not by himself, he’s with friends. Friends they don’t know, Mary points out. What if there’s alcohol? George jokes that they’re about to hear a lot of “fun facts” about the history of fermented beverages. Mary insists Sheldon’s not ready for this type of situation, but George assures her Sheldon is a good kid. He's not gonna drink anything he shouldn't. If he cared about peer pressure, he wouldn't wear a bow tie.
In Oscar and Darren’s dorm room, Oscar offers Sheldon a can. Sheldon doesn’t think he should have it, but Oscar points out it’s only root beer. Sheldon doesn’t think his mother would approve this late at night. On the other hand, he didn’t think his parents would let him stay there and they did, so maybe it’s fine. After Oscar suggests he roll for it, Sheldon rolls a seventeen and decides to drink the root beer.
Back at Meemaw’s, as Missy lays on the couch next to her, she is applying another band-aid to Missy’s leg. After Missy says her grandmother’s good at band-aids, Meemaw points out she’s had a lot of practice with Sheldon. He’s a fragile boy. Missy admits she doesn’t want to go to school tomorrow. Meemaw says she has to, she can’t let her “friends” win. But wear pants, Meemaw advises, as this is hard to look at. When Missy mentions that in Europe some women don’t shave, Meemaw points out they also drink warm beer, so they don’t know what they’re doing. Missy asks her grandmother if she’ll show her how to do it the right way. Shave? Yeah. Drink? Meemaw tells Missy her father’s the expert. Missy remarks that boys have it so easy as they can be as hairy as they want. Meemaw points out they have to walk around being dumb and smelly. Missy wonders if she’s got to shave forever so she can marry someone who’s dumb and smelly. Not necessarily, Meemaw says, but there's a good chance. That’s where the drinking comes in.
Back home, when George notices Mary grabbing the car keys, he asks where she’s going. After Mary says she’s going to pick up their son, George insists Sheldon’s fine. Mary points out they have no idea who he’s with, and claims George doesn’t even care. George tells Mary to do whatever she wants. After Mary asks George what his problem is, he tells Mary it doesn’t matter with a sniffle. Mary stops and tells George if something is going on, he should tell her. George admits they’re coming for him at work. The boosters want a new coach. Mary asks if he’s getting fired, George says he doesn’t know, maybe. After George asks Mary if she doesn’t have to go, Mary walks over to George and hugs him, saying she’s sorry. George sniffles and says thank you.
As the dungeons and dragons game continues in the dorm, Darren asks Sheldon what his next move is. Sheldon says he doesn’t feel so good, his stomach hurts. Abby asks how much he ate. A montage shows Sheldon drinking can after can of root beer in between gorging on candy and snacks. After lying down on one of the beds, Sheldon says he doesn’t want to throw up. Abby suggests calling Sheldon’s mom, but he doesn’t want that as she’ll never let him do this again. After Oscar gets a trash can for Sheldon to throw up in, Sheldon says there’s an emergency alka-seltzer in his bathroom cabinet. Everyone is fairly outraged to learn Sheldon has his own bathroom. After they tell him to throw up there, Sheldon doesn’t think he’ll make it in time. As Darren carries Sheldon to his dorm room, Mary walks down the hallway. After asking what’s going on, Darren tells Mary that Sheldon is about to throw up. Mary wonders if they gave him beer, but Sheldon assures her it was just root beer. As they all head into Sheldon’s bathroom, Mary promises him it’ll be okay. After Sheldon throws up, Mary wonders why it’s so colorful. Too many Skittles, Sheldon admits.
