Coach Wilkins: You have a serving bowl I can put these in?
George Sr.: A serving bowl?
Principal Petersen: I didn't realize we were playing poker with Martha Stewart. [Mr. Givens laughs]
Coach Wilkins: I will make civilized men of y'all if it kills me.
Mr. Givens: I was just laughing 'cause he's my boss.
George Sr.: I'll get you a bowl.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: There's going to be a lecture on carbon dating at the Natural Science Museum on Saturday. Who would like to take me?
George Sr.: You know what? I'd be happy to.
Meemaw: What happened to helping me at my yard sale?
George Sr.: Ooh, is that this Saturday? I'm sorry. I'm taking him to a lecture on, uh what is it? Carbonation?
Sheldon: Carbon dating. A method of determining the age of artifacts and fossils.
George Sr.: Hey, we could use that to figure out how old your grandma is.
Sheldon: That won't work. You can't carbon-date something that's alive.
George Sr.: Well, then, we'll just chop her down and count the rings.
Meemaw: Oh, George, did my "lump of clay" remark strike a nerve?
George Sr.: A little.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Adult Sheldon: Like a virus, heartbreak can also spread. Once it does, it's hard to contain. In some cases you can try to reboot and start over. But it makes you appreciate those early days, when your hard drive was clean... and the world was full of possibility.

Meemaw: So how come it's taken us so long to hang out?
Brenda Sparks: Well... my husband never left me before.
Meemaw: We can joke about it? Good. 'Cause that's gonna make this night way easier.

Meemaw: Well, let's get into it. What happened? If it's another woman, she's a tramp, and you're way prettier.
Brenda Sparks: No. Although sometimes I wish there was. Then I'd have someone to be mad at other than myself.
Meemaw: And here I thought this one was gonna be the sad sack.
Mary: Mom, that is enough.
Meemaw: Oh, there's my little killjoy. [both laughing]