Mary: I'm sorry those girls were so mean.
Missy: They didn't just call me a boy. They wouldn't sit with me at lunch. No one talked to me at recess.
Mary: Aw, baby.
Missy: Somebody crossed out "Missy Cooper" in my notebook and wrote "Mister Cooper."
Mary: Well, if that's what they're like, maybe you don't want them as friends.
Missy: I don't think I want to play baseball anymore.
Mary: If that's what you want, it's your decision.

George Sr.: What are you doing?
Missy: Watching Sheldon struggle with homework. It's so great.

Dale: So, how does this work?
Sheldon: You start by creating your character.
Missy: I want to be a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Meemaw: Put me down for that, too.
Sheldon: You have to choose from one of the character classes. There's thief, druid, paladin, wizard...
Missy: Ooh, wizard. I want that.
Sheldon: All right.
Missy: Then I'll use my magic to turn me into a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Sheldon: No.

Missy: So, this Dr. Lee is turning your friends against you?
Sheldon: Essentially.
Missy: Classic move. Most girls you find crying in the school bathroom, that was it.
Sheldon: What do I do?
Missy: Well, you're in a tough spot 'cause your personality is ugh.
Sheldon: There's enough people being mean to me right now.
Missy: Sorry.
Sheldon: Can you help me or not?
Missy: It's you against a bunch of college professors. I don't think you can win this one. [Sheldon starts to walk away] Oh. Do any of them have pimples?
Sheldon: No.
Missy: Too bad, I've done a lot of damage with "pizza face."

Lisa: [modem screeching] What's that noise?
George Jr.: No idea.
Sheldon: Georgie, I need you to get off the phone.
George Jr.: Hang on, Lisa. I'm helping someone with their English homework.
Sheldon: I don't have time for jokes. I need the phone line to connect my modem.
George Jr.: What the hell's a modem?
Sheldon: It links my computer to an interconnected web of other computers in order to facilitate the exchange of ideas.
George Jr.: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
Adult Sheldon: Sadly, that was not the stupidest thing he ever said.

Adult Sheldon: Thanks to Dr. Sturgis, I had all the intellectual ammunition I needed to bring my opponent to his knees. I accused him of conflating two different interpretations of quantum theory, woefully misrepresenting Paul Dirac, and when I called him a dung beetle in Latin, I was so riled up, I almost started producing testosterone.

Dale: Have you tried the meatballs here? They are fantastic.
Meemaw: I haven't. But speaking of meatballs, I hear you're gonna hang out with my son-in-law.
Dale: Yeah.
Meemaw: Hmm.
Dale: Oh. You don't like that at all.
Meemaw: No, it's fine with me. I hope you all go out and have a grand old time.
Dale: Oh. Yeah, well, what's the matter? You afraid I'm gonna find out all your secrets?
Meemaw: Calm down. You're enjoying this a little too much.
Dale: Enjoying it? I'm loving it. Look how mad you're getting. Come on, what's he got on you? Did you do some jail time? Were you a go-go dancer?
Meemaw: Hmm.
Dale: Have you got a tattoo in a naughty place? Can I see it?