Brenda Sparks: You want to dance?
George Sr.: [chuckles] Me? No.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, come on.
George Sr.: No. There's people here.
Brenda Sparks: Well... then what if we go someplace else?
George Sr.: What do you have in mind?
Brenda Sparks: Herschel does have the kids. [off George's look] Oh, God, I'm sorry. [laughs] That was... That was over the line. [George groans] [George pants] You okay? George?

Mary: Brenda. Have you heard anything?
Brenda Sparks: Not yet.
Mary: Oh, what happened?
Brenda Sparks: Um, I- I ran into George at the bar, and... next thing I know, he started having chest pains.
Mary: [sighs] Well, thank the Lord you were there with him.
Brenda Sparks: Oh. I really didn't do anything.
Mary: Don't say that! Who knows what would've happened if you hadn't been there?
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles awkwardly] Yeah.

George Jr.: [calls] Missy? Sheldon!
[As Georgie barges into the cabin, a startled Sheldon wakes up and falls off his crate. Missy is a woken and flings the lamp at the wall]
George Jr.: [gasps] What the hell?!
Missy: You scared me.
George Jr.: You scared me.
Sheldon: Everyone scared me.

Brenda Sparks: Yeah, um... Yeah, I'm gonna get out of here. You go see George.
Mary: What? No! You might have saved his life. He's gonna want to thank you.
Brenda Sparks: You know, that's nice, but I think it's best if...
Mary: Brenda, I insist.
Brenda Sparks: Okay.
Mary: Okay. Come on.

[George's monitor is beeping steadily]
Mary: Hi.
George Sr.: Hey.
Mary: Look who I have with me.
Brenda Sparks: Hey, George.
George Sr.: Brenda. [monitor beeps rapidly]
Mary: Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?
George Sr.: Oh, no. Nah, I was just... excited to see you, hmm? [monitor beeping faster] [rapid beeping] [George pulls of his monitor clip] [alarm beeping] [nervous chuckle]

George Sr.: Bad enough they rolled me out in a wheelchair I didn't need. You could've let me drive.
Mary: You got winded getting in the car.
George Sr.: You heard that, huh?

Mary: Should we talk about what happened the other night?
George Sr.: What happened the other night?
Mary: Us having that huge fight.
George Sr.: Oh, that, that. Forget it.
Mary: [scoffs] How can I?
George Sr.: It was a bad night. I say best thing is to put it in the rearview mirror.
Mary: [sighs] Oh, I would love that.
George Sr.: Done. The other night never happened.
Mary: Thank you.
George Sr.: [sighs]
Disc Jockey: And up next, we've got a twofer of Lynyrd Skynyrd coming at you.
[As "What's Your Name" starts to play, George turns off the radio]
George Sr.: [chuckles] Could use a little peace and quiet.

Brenda Sparks: Psst. George.
George Sr.: What's up?
Brenda Sparks: How you doing?
George Sr.: Hanging in.
Brenda Sparks: So... is it weird, me coming over for dinner?
George Sr.: What do you mean?
Brenda Sparks: You know exactly what I mean.
George Sr.: Brenda, I had a lot to drink that night. You know, I don't remember much.
Brenda Sparks: You don't?
George Sr.: No, I do not. [nods]
Brenda Sparks: Oh. Okay. I guess I don't either.
George Sr.: Great. See you at dinner.
Brenda Sparks: Yeah, mm-hmm.

George Sr.: Look, I'm-I'm sorry about earlier.
Brenda Sparks: It's okay. I understand.
George Sr.: I just don't want this to be weird. We're neighbors. You and my wife are friends. Your kids aren't here, right?
Brenda Sparks: No.
George Sr.: S-So, we're-we're neighbors. You and my wife are friends.
Brenda Sparks: That's why it's weird, George.
George Sr.: But nothing actually happened. There's no reason to feel guilty.
Brenda Sparks: Okay.
George Sr.: I mean, did we have too much to drink? Sure. Did-did we talk about going home from the bar together?
Brenda Sparks: Okay, I'm sorry about that.
George Sr.: No need to apologize, 'cause we didn't go. All we did was have a nice time in a public place. Mm? Is there anything wrong with that?
Brenda Sparks: Kind of feels like it.
George Sr.: It does feel like it. Why does it feel like it?
Brenda Sparks: [sighs] Maybe... ...'cause it was nice to talk to someone and feel special.
George Sr.: It was.
Brenda Sparks: Mm, maybe you should go.
George Sr.: I should go.
Brenda Sparks: Thanks for stopping by.
George Sr.: Yeah.

Pastor Jeff: And then his mother put baby Moses in a basket and sent him down the river.
Missy: [raises hand] Why?
Pastor Jeff: Maybe he was crying all night and his mother and father needed a break.
And maybe his grandmother was in town to help out, but she went to bed early because she had jet lag after her flight from Dallas.

Pastor Jeff: Okay, we're gonna revisit getting me some help with Sunday school.
Mary: I am ready, willing, and...
Pastor Jeff: Nope. I want someone who can really connect with the kids.
Mary: But connecting with the kids is what I do.
Peg: What planet are you on?
[flashback:]
Mary: I'm Miss Mary, and I'll be your Sunday school teacher. [as sock puppet] Oh, no, you won't. I will. Slithers, that is a lie. And what's another name for a lie? [hissing] A s-s-sin.
[present:]
Peg: Boy did that s-s-suck.

Pastor Jeff: It's time we hire a youth pastor.
Peg: Fresh blood. I like the sound of that.
Pastor Jeff: I already put in a call to my buddy at the Southern Baptist Convention.
Mary: So, this isn't open for discussion? It's already happening?
Pastor Jeff: As they say in the rec room Tuesday nights: "Bingo!"
Peg: [hisses] S-s-sorry.

Meemaw: Sounds like you and George had a crazy night, huh?
Brenda Sparks: What? No, we didn't.
Meemaw: He has a heart attack, and you get him to the hospital. That wasn't crazy?
Brenda Sparks: No.
Meemaw: Well, thank God you were with him.
Brenda Sparks: Well, I-I wouldn't say I was "with him."
Meemaw: You weren't?
Brenda Sparks: I was there, and he was there, and other people were there.
Meemaw: Okay. [chuckles]
Brenda Sparks: You know, I'm just glad that he's doing better.
Meemaw: Mm. Yeah. Well, it's good seeing you.
Brenda Sparks: You, too.
[Brenda rushes down an aisle with her shopping cart before stopping to look back at Meemaw]

Pastor Jeff: I drew up a list of interview questions we can ask the pastors.
Mary: [clicks tongue] But these are all softballs. Shouldn't we dig a little deeper?
Pastor Jeff: Are you kidding me? "Who's your favorite apostle and why" is gonna have them squirming in their seat.
Mary: Oh, please, there are 11 good answers and one bad one.

Pastor Andy: Who is my favorite apostle and why? That is a toughie. [chuckles] [Jeff looks knowingly at Mary] Although, I suppose any answer other than Judas is safe. [Mary looks knowingly at Jeff]

Pastor Jeff: So, where you from?
Pastor Charlie: Originally Rhode Island.
Mary: And you're a Southern Baptist?
Pastor Charlie: I guess I'm more of a Northern Baptist, but we're all just Baptists, right? [chuckles]
Peg: I'll show him out.

Mary: So, how do you relate to young people?
Pastor Steve: Bad. Which is what kids these days say when they mean "good." It's a Michael Jackson song. [chuckles softly]
Peg: Here's another Michael Jackson song: Beat it.
Pastor Jeff: Peg.
Peg: Sorry.
Pastor Jeff: But she's right. Thank you for coming.

Mary: Excuse me? Pastor Rob. [exhales] I'm sorry if I came off a little strong back there.
Pastor Rob: Oh. Hey, you're just trying to do what's best for the kids. I respect that.
Mary: Thank you. And I just want you to know that I am very well-connected with the parents, so if I can be of any help there, please let me know.
Pastor Rob: Yeah, you know, actually, I try not to get too close to the parents. I-I just think it's important for the kids to feel like I'm on their side.
Mary: Okay.
Pastor Rob: Ooh, maybe we could do a, uh, "good cop, bad cop" sort of thing.
Mary: [chuckles] Why am I the bad cop?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I don't have all the answers. Maybe you should ask God. Really looking forward to working with you.

Nick: Hey, Connie. Usual?
Meemaw: Yeah. [chuckles] I spend a lot of money here, right?
Nick: [chuckles] You sure do.
Meemaw: So if my son-in-law was in here doing something stupid, I should know, right?
Nick: I guess.
Meemaw: Before he went to the hospital, was he in here doing something stupid?
Nick: Just hanging out. Why?
Meemaw: No reason. Just watching too many soap operas, I guess. [both chuckle] Let's just keep this between us, okay?
Nick: Sure thing.

George Sr.: Why the hell are you asking questions about me at the bar?
Meemaw: I don't know what you're talking about.
George Sr.: Nick told me everything.
Meemaw: Well, clearly, I was lying.