Tam: Spending the Thanksgiving weekend working in my family's convenience store, I observed my father and mother working from 6:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night. My hypothesis was that economic advancement for immigrant families is more important than celebrating a holiday where people eat until they pass out in front of the TV.
Mr. Givens: All right, Tam. Well, based on your observations and hypothesis, were you able to make a prediction?
Tam: Yes. At some point, my father would die prematurely from stress. And my mother will come live with me, where she will constantly disapprove of my hot, blonde, American wife.
Mr. Givens: Okay. Uh, I think we all learned something there. Uh, thank you, Tam.

Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Tam: What?
Sheldon: Paige was right. "There's ample evidence to indicate that a stunted childhood can cause one to be maladjusted as an adult."
Tam: Then I'm screwed.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: When I'm not in school, I'm doing homework. When I'm not doing homework, I'm practicing my cello. And when I'm not doing that, I'm working in my parents' store.
Sheldon: That must be why we're friends. We're both stunted.
Tam: Sounds right.

Sheldon: Would you like to join me in my shenanigans?
Tam: No, thanks.
Sheldon: Aren't you concerned about being a maladjusted adult?
Tam: Nah. I'll just marry an American woman and hope she can fix me.

Tam: So you're hoping to create an army of super-intelligent children who will do your bidding?
Sheldon: In a perfect world, yes.
Tam: You should spend more time with my mother. That's her goal, too.

Tam: Look at this, my mother left me a note. "You can do better. Mom." Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom," just "Mom."

Adult Sheldon: While Tam prattled on about some family nonsense, I couldn't help but think about Tommy. At 3:00 pm, he was going to engage in a schoolyard battle that was entirely my fault. I had to find a way to intervene, but how?
Tam: Ooh, a Nutter Butter. Maybe she does love me.

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. Has anything changed with the bread from the Happy Hearth Home Bakeries?
Jared: I have no idea.
Sheldon: How can you not know? You work here.
Jared: What do you want from me? I get $3.35 an hour to stock shelves.
Tam: Are you kidding? My father pays me five dollars a week. I bet they're violating child labor laws.

Tam: Look, you made my mom's note.
Sheldon: "Don't talk to Sheldon. Mom." That's fine. I usually do most of the talking.
Tam: Yes, you do.

Tam: Look at these prices. No wonder supermarkets are running my parents out of business.
Sheldon: Your parents own a convenience store. They charge extra for the convenience.
Tam: How is this not convenient?

Sheldon: Uh-oh.
Tam: What's the matter?
Sheldon: Something's wrong with my sandwich.
Tam: Did it go bad?
Sheldon: No. It just tastes different.
Tam: If you don't want it, I'll trade you for my dumplings.
Sheldon: I'm already unhappy. Do you really think dumplings will fix the problem?
Tam: It'll fix my problem. I'm sick of dumplings.

Sheldon: What kind of snacks do you think I should serve at my Nobel gathering?
Tam: It's on Swedish radio. How about Swedish meatballs?
Sheldon: But it's at 5:00 a.m.
Tam: Swedish breakfast balls?

Sheldon: I could offer an assortment of breakfast cereal.
Tam: My mom doesn't let me have cereal with sugar in it. Or anything that makes me happy.

Sheldon: Tam, I need help navigating a social situation.
Tam: I'm eating lunch with you. You think I have the answer?
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter invited me to a lecture on robotics, but my meemaw said he's only doing it to spend time with her.
Tam: Are you asking if men do sketchy things to get dates?
Sheldon: Yes.
Tam: Well, then, I can help you. Absolutely. Last week, I told Jessica Geiger I was an extra in Karate Kid Part II.
Sheldon: Did it work?
Tam: Again, I'm having lunch with you.

Sheldon: And then my mother said I wasn't mature enough for college. Can you believe that?
Tam: Absolutely.
Sheldon: So you're on their side, too?
Tam: I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until your parents die, you're basically a baby.
Sheldon: Really?
Tam: My grandmother still treats my dad like a child. At dinner, he can't sit until she sits, and he can't speak until he's spoken to.
Sheldon: Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.
Tam: It's not as fun as I make it look.

Tam: Why are you reading about property code?
Sheldon: The house next door to mine is for sale, and I'm looking for ways to control who moves in there.
Tam: When my family moved to Texas, they burned our fishing boat.
Sheldon: Tam, we're talking about my problems right now.
Tam: We usually are.

Sheldon: Where are my safety goggles?
Tam: I don't have no orange today.
Sheldon: No, I have a lab later.
Tam: Just use the room goggles like everyone else.
Sheldon: And risk eyebrow lice? They don't just like head hair, Tam. They must be in my locker. [walks off] Don't eat my fluffernutter!
Tam: I won't. [eats fluffernutter] Mmm. [imitates Sheldon] "Don't eat my fluffernutter."

George Jr.: What if I told you you didn't have to study for your chemistry test tonight?
Tam: Why?
George Jr.: 'Cause I found this.
Tam: Cool. But how do you know we're gonna get the same test?
George Jr.: I checked... we've been taking the same ones all year.
Tam: And teachers call us lazy?
George Jr.: I know.

Sheldon: Why do these games have to be so expensive?
Tam: At least you have MTV. All I have is TV.
Sheldon: Will you please stop focusing on what you don't have and try to focus on what I don't have?