George Sr.: All right, now, don't wander off. Pick you up right after the lecture's over.
Sheldon: Bye.
George Sr.: You gonna be okay by yourself?
Sheldon: I actually prefer it.
George Sr.: Yep. I'm leaving.
Sheldon: You keep saying that, but then you don't do it.
George Sr.: Bye.
Sheldon: He's so needy.

Dr. Barrett: This is a nice surprise. I don't usually see young people at my lectures.
Paige: I enjoyed your paper on accelerator mass spectrometry, and wanted to find out more.
Dr. Barrett: Is that so? And you?
Sheldon: I read this magazine.
Dr. Barrett: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: It has puzzles, too.
Dr. Barrett: Okay.

Dr. Barrett: Do you want to kick this off and tell us exactly what carbon dating is?
Paige: The 5,730-year half-life of carbon 14 is used as a geochronometer.
Dr. Barrett: Anything else you'd like to add?
Sheldon: Um... carbon dating is how we figured out how old my grandmother is.
Adult Sheldon: It was at this moment I learned I was not only brilliant; I was also hilarious. [ADULT SHELDON LAUGHS]

Paige: Do you think humans will become extinct like the dinosaurs?
Sheldon: Yes, but before that happens, some of us will merge with computers and become immortal cyborgs.
Paige: That's a fascinating idea.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Paige: Did you get that from a TV show?
Sheldon: No. [Paige stares at him] A comic book.

Sheldon: Where are you going? It's closed.
Paige: I can read, baby.
Sheldon: Just so you know, that won't work every time.

Sheldon: This is oddly reminiscent of a dinner with my family.
Paige: You're funny.
Sheldon: I know.

Paige: My family never eats dinner together.
Sheldon: Why not?
Paige: My dad always manages to come home from work after we're done.
Sheldon: Hmm. My dad never misses a meal.

Paige: Do you think Stone Age parents stayed together forever?
Sheldon: They had to. There were no lawyers.
Paige: [LAUGHS]
Sheldon: What?
Paige: That was funny.
Sheldon: Right, we've established I'm funny.

Paige: Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce.
Sheldon: Why?
Paige: They fight all the time.
Sheldon: About what?
Paige: Mostly me.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's too bad. I guess I'm lucky.
Paige: Why?
Sheldon: I'm the glue that holds our family together.

Barry: What were you thinking?
Paige: I got bored.
Sheldon: 'Cause you're a baby.

George Jr.: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh. Hi, Georgie.
George Jr.: Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you?
Sheldon: I'm tutoring her in trigonometry.
George Jr.: And that gets you hugs?
Sheldon: Thanks to me, she got her first C-minus. Just between us, she's a little slow.
George Jr.: That's not what I heard.
Sheldon: What did you hear? Is she secretly clever? Because if she is, I completely missed it.

George Jr.: You just need to introduce me to her.
Sheldon: Why?
George Jr.: I want to be her friend.
Sheldon: Well, you better take a number. She's friends with a lot of boys around here.

Sheldon: I introduced them. Her math skills are dreadful.

All: Trick or treat.
Melissa: Oh, look how cute y'all are. Now, I know you are Superman. What about the rest of you?
Missy: I'm Cyndi Lauper.
Tam: I'm a wizard.
Melissa: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: And I'm Carl Sagan.
Melissa: Who?
Sheldon: Carl Sagan. He's the host of Cosmos.

Sheldon: Eh! I can't believe no one in this town knows who Carl Sagan is. Why even have a TV?

Sheldon: Get it! Get it!
Missy: It's just a spider. Calm down.
Sheldon: It's got eight legs and fangs. I see no reason to be calm.

Sheldon: Did you kill it?
Missy: Yup.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Missy: You tell me. [pointing the shoe at Sheldon]
[Sheldon screams and runs away]

George Sr.: Well, a couple of scientists at the college where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing a research study on twins. They want to meet you guys, ask you some questions.
Sheldon: Oh, boy, a research study. Will they give us written tests?
George Sr.: Yeah, I think so.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Missy: I don't want to do it.
Sheldon: Why not?
Missy: They probably just want to find out why you're so smart and I'm just average.
Sheldon: [QUIETLY] Average? That's a little generous.

Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Um, if you two wouldn't mind waiting here, we'd like to start by talking to your mom, dad, and grandma.
Missy: Why?
Dr. Edward Pilson: Just to get some background information on the both of you.
Sheldon: Smart. Ask how old I was when I completed potty training. You won't believe it.