Meemaw: We're done talking about this. And I'm not taking you to that lecture!
Sheldon: But I really want to go.
Meemaw: Too bad!
Sheldon: You are incredibly selfish.
Meemaw: Excuse me?
Sheldon: You just care about what you want. You don't care about what I want. You're selfish. How come your eyes stopped blinking?

Meemaw: What, exactly did you say to Dr. Linkletter?
Sheldon: [quietly] I said Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling from the library. [normally] And he said-
Meemaw: Get to the point.
Sheldon: He's not using me to spend time with you. He said so. You're wrong.
Meemaw: You had no business calling him, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You seem upset. Are you embarrassed because you were wrong?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Are you sure? I would be.
Meemaw: I'm not wrong. He's lying to you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Interesting. I don't know who to believe.
Meemaw: Really? You're gonna believe some guy you barely know over your own grandmother?
Sheldon: Well, one of them said I'm really smart, and one of them's yelling at me right now.

Meemaw: There are certain grown-up dynamics taking place here that you, you might not be aware of.
Sheldon: Well, I like quantum-chromodynamics and thermodynamics; perhaps I'll like grown-up dynamics. Tell me.
Meemaw: I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter might be paying special attention to you so he can become better friends with me.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: You're just gonna have to trust me on this one.
Sheldon: Are you saying he doesn't really want me at this lecture?
Meemaw: No, I'm just saying he really wants me at this lecture.
Sheldon: But that's illogical. He knows you're in a relationship with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: And now we're back to it's complicated, so drop it.
Sheldon: I'll try, but dropping things is not where I shine.

Sheldon: That robotics lecture's going to be eye-opening. Get ready to forget everything you know about robot communication.
Meemaw: Moon Pie, I don't know if we're gonna go to this thing.
Sheldon: Why not? We've established that you're free, and I'm a child, so my schedule's wide open.
Meemaw: It's complicated.
Sheldon: Well, we're just sitting here, and we have to talk about something.
Meemaw: Can you just let this one go?
Sheldon: I think we both know the answer to that question.

Meemaw: [to Dr. Linkletter] Can I speak to you for a moment? [to Sheldon] The grown-ups need to talk.
Sheldon: That wasn't made clear.

Dr. Linkletter: Uh, Sheldon, if you're interested, an old friend of mine is giving a lecture next week on the mathematics of robotic communication.
Sheldon: Really?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes. If your grandmother's willing to drive you, maybe we can all go. Make a night of it.
Sheldon: Oh, we'll be there.
Meemaw: Uh-uh-uh, wait, we-we don't even know what night it is.
Dr. Linkletter: Thursday.
Meemaw: Oh. Thursday might be a problem for me.
Sheldon: Thursday's perfect for you.
Dr. Linkletter: Wonderful.
Meemaw: You don't know that.
Sheldon: Yes, I do. Mondays you have bowling, Tuesday's water aerobics, Wednesday, salsa dancing, Fridays, you bring me here. Your Thursday was wide open, but not anymore. We'll see you then.

Dr. Linkletter: [answering phone] Grant Linkletter.
Sheldon: [whispering] This is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling from a library.
Dr. Linkletter: [whispering] Hello, Sheldon. Nice to hear from you.
Sheldon: Why are you whispering? Are you in a library?
Dr. Linkletter: Good point. [clears throat, speaks normally:] How can I help you?
Sheldon: My meemaw doesn't want to take me to the lecture because she thinks that you're just using me to spend time with her.
Dr. Linkletter: I see. Well, you're an intelligent young man. What do you think?
Sheldon: I think she's wrong, and you invited me because you know I appreciate the subject matter.
Dr. Linkletter: Exactly right. You're even smarter than I thought.
Sheldon: I knew it. [to Tam] My meemaw couldn't be more wrong.
Kid: Shh!
Sheldon: Oh, like you were reading a book anyway.

Dr. Linkletter: So then we're able to take the ends of the strings and connect them to a ten-dimensional membrane. Yes, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis taught us that if you leave the strings open, it allows far more possibilities.
Dr. Linkletter: We don't believe you need open strings anymore. That's an older model of thinking. Now... Yes, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Just because something is older doesn't mean that it's not still good. Original Star Trek is older than Next Generation, but if you think that Mr. Data is better than Mr. Spock, you don't know what you're talking about.
Dr. Linkletter: I don't know what you're talking about.

Dr. Linkletter: Connie. So nice to see you.
Meemaw: Nice to see you, too. Sheldon, this is Dr. Linkletter.
Sheldon: Hello.
Dr. Linkletter: [holding out his hand] I've heard so much about you.
Sheldon: Apparently not how I feel about shaking hands.

Sheldon: Same room. Different teacher. Same night. Different time. This is a real roller coaster.
Meemaw: Yeah, it's wild.

Dr. Linkletter: Just a warning: today's lecture is rather advanced.
Sheldon: Don't worry. If you get confused, I'll be right here in the front row.

[Sheldon is chuckling as he stares at a blank screen]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Watching last week's Professor Proton in my mind.

George Sr.: What do you think you're doing?
Sheldon: Exploring the impact of the French invasion on Imperial Russian society.
George Sr.: Well, get out of here. You're going back to class.
Sheldon: No, I'm not.
George Sr.: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I don't learn anything in class. But in here I've taught myself the applications of gravitational lensing, Faraday's law of magnetic induction, and how to whistle. [blows air] Well, sound came out yesterday.
George Sr.: You can't spend your day in a broom closet.
Sheldon: It's no longer a broom closet. It's now a citadel of higher learning.

George Sr.: Hey, Tam. I can't find Sheldon. You know where he is?
Tam: I promised not to say.
George Sr.: Tam!
Tam: Lucky for you I'm weak.
[later, as George finds Sheldon's secret study hall:]
George Sr.: Are you kidding me?
Sheldon: I knew Tam was weak.

Adult Sheldon: Since I no longer had a college class with Dr. Sturgis to stoke my intellectual fire, I needed to find someone else who was up to the task of being my mentor. A great mind. A once-in-a-generation thinker. Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
Sheldon: School's in session.

Sheldon: Mother?
Mary: Yes?
Sheldon: Is it okay if I use a knife to butter my toast, or are you worried I'll do something crazy with it?
Mary: You can butter your own toast.
Sheldon: Oh, good. You see the toast, too. I was afraid I was imagining it.

Mary: I was just letting you know that if you were having any problems you could come to me with them.
Sheldon: You think I have mental problems?
Mary: Well, not problems. I'm just worried about your future, and when I see you moving subatomic particles around in the air, that makes-
Sheldon: Subatomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you.

Sheldon: [to Mary] I am behaving no differently than I ever have. Why are you suddenly so worried about me?
Dr. Goetsch: That is a valid question. Has anything changed recently?
Sheldon: Maybe it's hormonal. When does menopause typically begin?
Mary: It is not my hormones.
Sheldon: Well, it certainly isn't mine. I'm showing no signs of puberty.

Mary: Let me try this a different way. Um, do you ever feel paranoid, like people are out to get you?
Sheldon: I'm a ten-year-old in high school people are out to get me.
Mary: That's fair.

Sheldon: Why aren't you also driving Missy to school?
Mary: I thought it might be nice for us to chat.
Sheldon: About Missy? She is a bit much, isn't she?