Adult Sheldon: With no access to controlled substances, I was left with only one option.
Sheldon: Missy, will you teach me to ride a bike tomorrow?
Missy: Why not Mom?
Sheldon: Working.
Missy: Meemaw?
Sheldon: Old.
Missy: Dad?
Sheldon: Fat.
Missy: Okay. [Sheldon exits] I'm such a good person.

George Sr.: You okay?
Sheldon: My arm really hurts. I want Mom.
George Sr.: You got me. Now, let me take a look.
Sheldon: Don't touch it.
George Sr.: I'm not gonna hurt you.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but you are too big to be delicate.
Billy Sparks: I'm delicate.

Sheldon: This is bad.
George Sr.: You're gonna be just fine.
Sheldon: This is the arm I write with. This is the arm I eat with. This is the arm I do the Vulcan salute with. Ow.
George Sr.: It's not too swollen. That's a good sign.
Sheldon: You're not a doctor.
George Sr.: But I see this on the football field all the time.
Sheldon: Football players are meant to be hurt. I'm meant to be cherished.

Dr. Patel: Okay. Looks like you fractured your ulna.
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Dr. Patel: Two weeks in a cast, you'll be good as new.
Sheldon: A cast? Don't those get sweaty?
Dr. Patel: Mm-hmm. They can.
Sheldon: And itchy?
Dr. Patel: A little.
Sheldon: Can it get wet?
Dr. Patel: Not supposed to.
Sheldon: Then how am I supposed to take a shower?
Dr. Patel: Well, some people wrap it in a garbage bag.
Sheldon: That's where garbage goes. Did you get a discount doctor because we're poor?

Mary: Don't worry, baby. You're gonna be just fine.
Sheldon: Thanks, Mom.
George Sr.: That's what I been saying the whole time.
Sheldon: But she cherishes me.

Sheldon: Left-handed knocking. Wild. [knocks three times] Georgie?
George Jr.: [o.s.] What? [Sheldon enters Georgie's bed room]
Sheldon: You're left-handed. Now that I've joined your ranks, I was wondering if you could tell me what to expect.
George Jr.: I don't know. To me, it's just normal.
Sheldon: But the vast majority of people are right-handed. There must be some challenges.
George Jr.: It's hard to cut stuff with scissors.
Sheldon: Mom handles most of my cutting needs.
George Jr.: Uh, when you shake hands, it's the wrong hand.
Sheldon: I don't shake hands. It's disgusting.
George Jr.: Oh! When driving, the gear shifter's on the right side.
Sheldon: And I'm not old enough to drive. Being a lefty doesn't seem so bad. I don't know why you complain so much.

Sheldon: Johannes Diderik van der Waals. Nils Gustaf Dalén. Heike Kamerlingh Onnes.
Missy: What are you going?
Sheldon: Listing Nobel Prize winners in physics.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: To keep me from cracking this cast like a coconut and scratching my skin off.

Sheldon: Well, that's what I heard. And if Hawking doesn't let it stop him, then I can't let this cast stop me.
Missy: Great. Go back to sleep.
Sheldon: I will, and I'll do it all by myself. [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty
Missy: Oh, my God.
Sheldon: Little ball of fur Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr Purr, purr.

Sheldon: I will not be denied my jelly. [lid pops] Yes! Watch out, peanut butter. You're next.

Pastor Jeff: Who would like to tell us how God touched their lives this week? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: He didn't, because He doesn't exist.
Pastor Jeff: Then why raise your hand?
Sheldon: Not just any hand. My left hand. Because I'm able to overcome any obstacle.
Pastor Jeff: And maybe God helped you do that.
Sheldon: Actually, it was Stephen Hawking, and he's better because he exists.
Pastor Jeff: Yes, 'cause God made him. Anybody else? [Billy raises his hand] Billy.
Billy Sparks: Is this gonna be on the test?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, boy.

Adult Sheldon: I took a moment to reflect on my journey of the last two weeks. Such emotional growth was worthy of a majestic bubble beard. Perhaps my sister was right. This was a time I'd want to remember.
Sheldon: Dad, will you sign my cast?
George Sr.: Sure.
Sheldon: And if you have any grammar questions, please ask first.

Adult Sheldon: The next day, I got my cast off. In a world where I valued symmetry,
I was relieved to see that both my arms were as pale and skinny as ever. But this Texan had unfinished business to tend to.
Missy: Want me to get you started?
Sheldon: No, I can do it.
Adult Sheldon: And I did do it. I rode my bike without training wheels like an adult. It would take more than a chicken or the threat of a fractured bone to scare me. It would take a brown beast named Scraps. [dog barks]
Sheldon: Aah! Mommy?!
Adult Sheldon: I rode my bike 11 miles that day.
Sheldon: Mommy!

Meemaw: What are you looking for?
Sheldon: Chest hairs. Is there any chance I'll hit puberty in the next few weeks?
Meemaw: Oh, God, I hope not. Why?
Sheldon: The campus is so big, I'll never make it from one class to another without a solid dose of testosterone.
Mary: Maybe they'll let you leave early so you'll have time.
Sheldon: But the end of the class is when I point out the teacher's mistakes. Everybody loves that.
Mary: I'd say run across campus, but I know how you feel about sweating.
Sheldon: It's the urine of the skin.

Sheldon: The train museum's looking for a docent.
Mary: What's a docent?
Sheldon: It's a person in a museum who gives information on the exhibits.
Mary: Do you think they'd let someone your age do that?
Sheldon: Why not? I have a high school diploma.
Mary: True.
Sheldon: I know more about trains than anybody.
Mary: True.
Sheldon: And I have the unique ability to wear people down until I get my way.
Mary: So true.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello. I understand you're looking for a docent. I'm 11 years old, but you should know I have a high school diploma and I know more about trains than anybody. You still sound on the fence.
Adult Sheldon: It was time to break out my unique ability.
Sheldon: Let me tell you about every model train I own and what each of them means to me. The first locomotive I ever received...
Adult Sheldon: Wouldn't you know it, 47 short minutes later, I got the job.

Mary: What time is the game?
Missy: 12:30.
Sheldon: Why are we talking about baseball and not my impending docent-hood?
Missy: Who wants to tell him it's stupid?
George Sr.: Leave it alone.
Missy: And why do they make you wear that goofy costume?
Sheldon: Ha. They don't. This is all me.

Mary: Sheldon, you sure about this?
Sheldon: Yes, leave the crusts on. I'm a docent now.

Lawrence: I like your conductor's uniform.
Sheldon: You know what they say. Dress for the job you want. Do I get an "ask me" button, too?
Lawrence: Well, thank you for asking, and yes, you do. I'll be right back. [exits]
Sheldon: Do you see that bell? That's from Texas and New Orleans locomotive number 701. I'd tell you more, but you haven't contributed the suggested donation.
[Sheldon stares at Meemaw until she puts some money in the donation box]
Sheldon: Number 701 was built in 1930 by the Baldwin Locomotive Works. It was a superheated 44 class GS-1 with ...
Meemaw: I want my money back.
Lawrence: Here you go.
Sheldon: Thank you. [to Meemaw] I know you're supposed to pick me up at 4:00, but I may live here now.
Meemaw: Send me a Christmas card.

Lawrence: Just let me know if you have any questions.
Sheldon: This is a very nice builder's plate. How can you be sure it's not a replica?
Lawrence: Now, that is a great question.
Sheldon: Thank you. I also know the answer. Do you?
Lawrence: Well, there's, uh, rust and soot on the back of it from when it was mounted to the engine's smokebox.
Sheldon: Very good. Ah, the 1947 Santa Fe diesel. I've always loved that paint scheme. I wonder if they had a name for it.
Lawrence: Cat's Whiskers.
Sheldon: Correct.
Lawrence: Ha! Two for two.
Sheldon: Did you know that the word "train" comes from the French verb traîner, which means to draw or drag?
Lawrence: [chuckles] Well, I just learned something.
Sheldon: Well, if you enjoy learning things, then you and I are on the "fast track" to friendship. Speaking of fast tracks, the Japanese bullet train, or Shinkansen...

Sheldon: It's almost opening time. Can I flip the sign?
Lawrence: Have at it.
Sheldon: [pulls out stopwatch] Five, four, three, two, one. [flips sign] We're officially open for business. [Sheldon peeks outside to see nobody waiting for the store] Anticlimactic.