Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Mary: Why didn't you call for help?
Sheldon: I tried, but no sound came out.
Mary: You poor thing.
Sheldon: It was very dirty up there. Is cleaning the garage your job or Dad's?

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Meemaw: Here, have some tea.
Sheldon: Chamomile?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: One teaspoon of honey?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: An ice cube to cool it off?
Meemaw: I went with two today. You've been through enough.
Sheldon: [drinking] I prefer one ice cube.
Meemaw: Drink it.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Missy: Who are you? You're so cute.
Sheldon: [weakly] Be careful.
Missy: What are you doing up there?
Sheldon: Staying alive.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Adult Sheldon: In panic situations, I'd often lose consciousness. This time, I only lost my voice.
Sheldon: [WEAKLY] Help. Please help.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Sheldon: How'd it go?
Meemaw: Oh! What the hell?
Sheldon: I wanted to know how your date went, and I got bored watching you sleep.
Meemaw: How long have you been there?
Sheldon: 67 minutes.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Sheldon: Now, tell me everything.
Meemaw: Go away. Let me sleep.
Sheldon: Okay. But before I go, should I be worried he's not in your bed?
Meemaw: Get out!
Sheldon: I certainly hope you were nicer to him.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Dr. John Sturgis: Mr. Cooper?!
Sheldon: Huh?
Dr. John Sturgis: Are you paying attention?
Sheldon: I already know this.
Dr. John Sturgis: You know this?
Sheldon: But they don't, so by all means, continue.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Sheldon: Here are some things you might find helpful about Meemaw. Her favorite color is purple, her favorite ice cream: mint chip, and her favorite food is Mexican.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent. Good to know.
Sheldon: She loves gambling, bowling, and especially me. You can't talk enough about me.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Dr. John Sturgis: Tell me more about you.
Sheldon: My favorite color is blue.
Dr. John Sturgis: Mine, too.
Sheldon: My favorite ice cream: vanilla.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good man.
Sheldon: My favorite food: spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.
Dr. John Sturgis: I've never had that.
Sheldon: What's your favorite food?
Dr. John Sturgis: Grilled cheese.
Sheldon: What about the risk of mouth burn?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's a perfect excuse for vanilla ice cream.
Sheldon: If you want to propose tonight, you have my blessing.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Meemaw: I should probably get 'em into some water.
Sheldon: I can do that. You two begin your courtship.
Meemaw: Moonpie.
Sheldon: Yes?
Meemaw: Go home.
Sheldon: So you can begin the courtship, got it.
Meemaw: Go!

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Mary: I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself.
Sheldon: I don't think so. They're in love. They were looking into each other's eyes like there was something in there other than corneas and irises.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Mary: Well, if that's the case, that'd be wonderful.
Sheldon: It'd be more than wonderful. If they get married, we immediately double the number of smart people in our family. That means we go from one to two.
Mary: I got that.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Sheldon: Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Come in. Meemaw's upstairs getting ready for your date.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wonderful. Oh, my, this is a lovely house.
Sheldon: Isn't it? Can you see yourself living here? I can.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, I would like to see you again. Perhaps we could have dinner sometime.
Sheldon: Yes, we would love that.
Meemaw: We would?
Sheldon: We wouldn't?
Dr. John Sturgis: You wouldn't?
Meemaw: We would.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent.
Sheldon: Excellent. So, where are we eating?

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Sheldon: Why are they all looking at us?
Meemaw: I think they're looking at you.
Sheldon: Oh. [waving to the class] Hello.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Ms. Ingram: Sheldon? Sheldon? Were you paying attention to anything I said?
Sheldon: Yes.
Ms. Ingram: Then what'd I say?
Sheldon: When factoring a trinomial where the leading coefficient isn't one, it must be written in descending order from highest power to lowest power.

Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

NASA Director: Thanks, kid. You really saved my bottom.
Sheldon: Tell your bottom it's welcome.

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Meemaw: Hey, Shelly, how's it going over there?
Sheldon: I hate everything about this.

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Sheldon: Pray harder!

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Meemaw: Hey! Looking sharp. You're not gonna try to sell me a set of knives, are you?
Sheldon: No.
Meemaw: It's a joke. 'Cause of the suit.
Sheldon: Okay.