Sheldon: Ms. Hutchins, what's your religion?
Ms. Hutchins: I'm a Mormon, why?
Sheldon: I'm conducting a research project. Can you tell me about being a Mormon?
Ms. Hutchins: Well, it started in New York, when a man found gold plates buried underground. The plates said that, when we die, we get to go to our own planet. Unless you're a woman, then you have to go to your husband's planet. But that won't be a problem for me. I don't have a husband. All I have is a cat. A big, mean cat. Oh, maybe I'll get to go to his planet. Lonely Cheryl on Planet Cat.
Sheldon: I like her. She's funny.

Mary: Here. Why don't you put this on, and we will try again? [Ms. Hutchins applies lipstick] Oh. Now, are you a strong, confident woman?
Ms. Hutchins: Sure.
Mary: Come on. Say it like you mean it. Are you strong and confident?
Ms. Hutchins: Yes.
Mary: One more time.
Ms. Hutchins: Yes.
Mary: So I can put you down for a starter kit?
Ms. Hutchins: Fine.
Mary: Well, all right! Whoo!

George Sr.: You comfortable? Can I get you anything else?
Ms. Hutchins: No. I-I'm okay. You've been so kind to welcome me into your home.
George Sr.: Well, it's the least we could do.
Ms. Hutchins: It's so nice to be around a family like this. [crying] I've been alone for... so long. Honestly, if it weren't for the cats, I'd have no one. Oh, wait. The cats! I abandoned Edgar and Allan.
George Sr.: Edgar and Allan?
Ms. Hutchins: Poe ran away. Would you please go feed them and tell them I love them?
George Sr.: Uh... any chance this could wait till morning?
Ms. Hutchins: [crying] I guess.

Ms. Hutchins: Here. I read this one to help with my haphephobia.
Sheldon: Ah, fear of being touched. I have that, too. Was it useful?
Ms. Hutchins: Well, when someone's interested in touching me, we'll find out.

Ms. Hutchins: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Ms. Hutchins: You get that test problem sorted out?
Sheldon: No, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis and I are still at a math impasse.
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, I hate those.

Ms. Hutchins: We have a few books on mental illness you might find helpful. This one's a good place to start.
Sheldon: Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Read it, lived it, made the mistake of talking about it on a date. [as Sheldon leaves] Sure. Walk away. They all do.

Sheldon: What happened to your face?
George Sr.: Oh. Uh... either Edgar or Allan. [chuckles]
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, that was Edgar. He can be a rascal.

Ms. Hutchins: Well, Since this is a high school, we don't have material about giving birth on the shelves. But... since this is a high school, I... keep a few things here under the counter.
Sheldon: Excellent. And I'll let my brother know, in case he gets himself in a pickle.

Mary: But, hey, I am not just selling makeup. I am selling confidence.
Ms. Hutchins: You are?
Mary: I sure am. Now, are you a strong and confident woman?
Ms. Hutchins: Not remotely.
Mary: Well, do you want to be?
Ms. Hutchins: I guess.

Ms. Hutchins: Try this. It's been around a while, but it's still quite popular. Unlike me, who's just been around a while.

Ms. Hutchins: Sheldon, how's your educational project going?
Sheldon: Poorly. I've hit a wall.
Ms. Hutchins: Have you considered B. F. Skinner's behavior modification?
Tam: What's that?
Ms. Hutchins: It uses punishment and reward to get the results you want.
Sheldon: Ooh, punishment. I like the sound of that.
Ms. Hutchins: [QUIETLY] In the right context, so do I.

Ms. Hutchins: Hey there, Sheldon. What can I do for ya?
Sheldon: I'm wondering if you have any books on stopping bad habits.
Ms. Hutchins: A few. What habit are you trying to stop?
Sheldon: Science.
Ms. Hutchins: Yowza.
Sheldon: It's not permanent. I'm just looking to take a break.
Ms. Hutchins: I've heard that one before.
Sheldon: What did you take a break from?
Ms. Hutchins: Happiness.
Sheldon: Okay.

Ms. Hutchins: I was hoping I'd have someone to sit with.
George Sr.: Ah, sorry.
Ms. Hutchins: That's okay. It was my fault for letting myself feel hope.
George Sr.: You're welcome to watch from the sidelines.
Ms. Hutchins: Thanks. Watching life go by from the sidelines is kind of my thing.

Mary: Thank you. I can't believe you got through to him.
Ms. Hutchins: Happy to help.
Missy: So, who was the person you had the fight with?
Ms. Hutchins: It was my cat, Poe. She ran away when I switched to dry food. It was cheaper.

Ms. Hutchins: I don't know.
Mary: Trust me, the men are gonna be lining up.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, they haven't been so far, and I've been basically giving it away.
Mary: That's your business really.

George Sr.: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Ms. Hutchins: I don't think so.
George Sr.: [to Coach Wilkins] Call an ambulance. [to Ms. Hutchins] Don't worry, we're gonna get you taken care of.
Ms. Hutchins: If I die, tell my therapist I hate him.