Missy Quotes
Quote from the episode A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On
Dale: I figured we'd order pizza.
Missy: Okay.
Dale: What do you want on it?
Missy: Everything except onions, green peppers, mushrooms, spinach...
Dale: No vegetables. Got it.
Meemaw: How about a little salad, too?
Missy: If you like wasting money.
Meemaw: Spoken like a true Texan.
Quote from the episode A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On
Dale: So what's Sheldon like?
Missy: A pain in the ass.
Meemaw: No, he means, what does Sheldon like on his pizza?
Missy: Oh. [shouts] Sheldon! What do you want on your pizza!?
Meemaw: Still glad you came?
Dale: Actually, I am.
Sheldon: [enters] I don't want any pizza.
Missy: See? Pain in the ass.
Quote from the episode A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On
Dale: So, how does this work?
Sheldon: You start by creating your character.
Missy: I want to be a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Meemaw: Put me down for that, too.
Sheldon: You have to choose from one of the character classes. There's thief, druid, paladin, wizard...
Missy: Ooh, wizard. I want that.
Sheldon: All right.
Missy: Then I'll use my magic to turn me into a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Sheldon: No.
Quote from the episode A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On
Meemaw: Missy, help me out here.
Missy: Communication is important. I learned that on the Fresh Prince show.
Quote from the episode A Musty Crypt and a Stick to Pee On
[fantasy:]
Meemaw: Get out of my way. I'm a thief, and I'm opening this chest.
Dale: Have at it. I'm a paladin with a buzz on.
[reality:]
Sheldon: Success. The chest opens, revealing a scroll with ancient writing in a strange language you don't recognize. What do you do?
Missy: I say this is boring...
[fantasy:]
Missy: ...and turn myself into a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... ♪
Missy: This game just got good. High five.
Dale: Yeah.
♪ Heroes in a half-shell, turtle power. ♪
Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love
Mary: Come on, Shelly. It's a space theme. Isn't that fun?
Sheldon: Jesus was a carpenter, not an astronaut.
Missy: Maybe he built the rocket.
Sheldon: What would he use for fuel?
Missy: [distracted] Ooh, doughnut holes.
Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love
Missy: Sing "Ice Ice Baby."
Pastor Jeff: Don't know it.
Missy: How about Paula Abdul?
Pastor Jeff: Nope.
Missy: Ooh! The Teenage Mutant Ninja theme.
Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love
Missy: Why is the monkey invisible?
Sheldon: I don't know.
Missy: Is it a ghost monkey?
Sheldon: Sure.
Missy: Then why isn't he in heaven?
Sheldon: Because there is no heaven.
Missy: What about monkey heaven?
Sheldon: There is no monkey heaven. There is no regular heaven. When we die, we cease to exist. That's it.
Missy: You better hope you're right. 'Cause if I end up in regular heaven and you end up in hell, I'm gonna laugh. But if you end up in monkey hell, I'm gonna laugh even harder.
Sheldon: Just paint your nails.
Missy: [prays] God, when Sheldon dies, please send him to monkey hell. Amen.
Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love
Missy: I can still hear the sound of her fist hitting your face and your head bouncing off the floor.
Mary: That is enough.
Missy: It was like, "Thwack," and then, "Kathunk."
Mary: I said enough!
Missy: And there were doughnut holes. What a great day.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Sheldon: I did it. Missy, I did it!
Missy: [groans] What?
Sheldon: I slept through the night.
Missy: What time is it?
Sheldon: 6:14.
Missy: This is why people hate you.
Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Missy: That's so cool. Can I sign it?
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: 'Cause that's what kids do.
Sheldon: Why would I care what kids do?
Missy: So when it's over, you can have a cool reminder?
Sheldon: I don't want a reminder. This is traumatic. I might need counseling.
Missy: Come on, don't be lame. Let me sign it.
Sheldon: You're just gonna write something mean.
Missy: You don't commit a crime and sign your own name. Learned that one the hard way.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Missy: "I hope your arm gets better soon. XO, Missy". See? Nothing mean.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Adult Sheldon: My sister could have a big heart. If only that were true of her brain.
Sheldon: That's the wrong "your".
Missy: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: It's supposed to be Y-O-U-R. What you wrote means, "I hope you are arm gets better".
Missy: Oh.
Sheldon: You defaced my body with a grammatical error.
Missy: I guess that's your problem. Y-O-U-R.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Mary: Can we please just eat?
George Jr.: Chicken's good.
George Sr.: Mrs. Sparks made it.
Missy: Huh?
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Sheldon: I need Mom to sing "Soft Kitty".
Missy: Don't do it.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: You're being a baby again.
Sheldon: But I'm injured.
Missy: Big deal. You broke your arm. Look at Stephen Hawking over there. He's in a wheelchair. You don't hear him whining about it with his robot voice.
Sheldon: So you're saying he and I are brilliant minds who have both suffered great physical adversity.
Missy: That's not even close to what I'm saying.
Quote from the episode A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton
Missy: I'm glad Mom didn't come.
George Sr.: Why's that?
Missy: I can spit when I'm on the mound.
George Sr.: You can hock up anything you want today.
Missy: [snorts]
George Sr.: Not here.
Missy: Aw.
Quote from the episode A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton
George Sr.: Ready to roll?
Missy: Not really.
George Sr.: What's wrong?
Missy: It... happened.
George Sr.: What happened?
Missy: That thing that happens to girls when they're becoming young ladies.
George Sr.: What?! Now?
Missy: I'm not happy about it, either.
George Sr.: [stammers] Should we go home?
Missy: I'm pitching in an hour.
George Sr.: I... You think that's a good idea? Maybe you need to lie down.
Missy: I don't need to lie down.
George Sr.: Okay, well, maybe I need to lie down.
Quote from the episode A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton
George Sr.: Okay, we're gonna find a pay phone and call your mother.
Missy: She's not here right now. What can she do?
George Sr.: Well, I don't know what to do.
Missy: We're gonna go to a drugstore and get what I need.
George Sr.: Go to a drug store. Okay, I can do that.
Missy: Breathe. We're gonna get through this.
George Sr.: [exhales sharply]
Quote from the episode A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton
Missy: We need to stop so I can pee.
George Sr.: I told you to pee before we left the house.
Missy: That was an hour and a half ago.
George Sr.: [sighs] Can't you hold it?
Missy: I may spit like a man, but I have the bladder of a little girl.
Quote from the episode Graduation
Mary: Missy, how would you and Sheldon like a graduation party?
Sheldon: Why would Missy have a graduation party?
Missy: 'Cause I'm graduating elementary school.
Sheldon: That counts?
George Sr.: Of course it counts.
Sheldon: Yes, it's a big deal. She's going to a new school. New friends, new teachers.
Missy: Same clothes 'cause we're poor. [phone rings]
George Sr.: We're not poor.
Missy: So I can get new clothes?
George Sr.: We're not rich, either.
Quote from the episode Graduation
Kimberly: So act natural. We're just having a chat. I'm gonna ask y'all a few questions about Sheldon's high school graduation.
Missy: I'm graduating, also.
Kimberly: Really? You're graduating from high school, too?
Missy: No, elementary school.
Kimberly: Oh.
Missy: My class is singing "This Land Is Your Land." Want to hear it? [sings] This land is your land...
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- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon