Sheldon: What are you doing?
Missy: I was gonna watch DuckTales, but this looks funnier.

Missy: Dang, this place is nice.
Meemaw: That's because it was supposed to be a date.
Missy: Cool. My first date.

Mary: Okay, so how do we read it?
Missy: I'd say ask Sheldon, but he left after I clearly said not to.

Sheldon: It occurred to me that Maxwell's equations would achieve full symmetry by adding a magnetic monopole.
Missy: I drew a ladybug.

George Sr.: All right, since you're right-handed, which I now know, you're gonna bring your arm up and follow through like this.
Missy: Okay.
George Sr.: Nice. You might be a natural.
Missy: I'm not surprised. This is the arm I color with.

Missy: Which team has a big red "T" on their hat?
George Sr.: Texas Rangers.
Missy: Is that a team we like?
George Sr.: Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's who most people around here root for.
Missy: Okay. And what's something I could say about the Rangers? You know, to sound cool.
George Sr.: Is this about a boy?
Missy: No!
George Sr.: All right, sorry. If you want, you could say, "Even though Nolan Ryan is old, the Rangers were still smart to get him."
Missy: That's a real thing?
George Sr.: That's a real thing.
Missy: How old is Nolan Ryan?
George Sr.: My age.
Missy: Ew.

Missy: Is there anything else good I could say about the Rangers?
George Sr.: Uh, let's see. Tell whoever's interested that no one's ever gonna touch Nolan Ryan's strikeout record.
Missy: 'cause he strikes out all the time.
George Sr.: No. Because he throws strikeouts all the time.
Missy: Oh. Big difference.

Mary: Hey, Shelly, I got something for you.
Sheldon: What is it?
Mary: An invitation to Billy Sparks's birthday on Saturday. Isn't that nice?
Missy: Sheldon's gonna go?
Sheldon: A child's birthday party? No, thank you.
Missy: Great.

Mary: You're going to Billy's party.
Sheldon: But I don't want to.
Missy: And I don't want him to.
Mary: Too bad, he's going.
Missy: Then I don't want to go.
Mary: Everyone's going and everyone's gonna have fun.
Sheldon: This is so unfair.
Missy: It is. You should run away from home.

Missy: What'd I get him?
Mary: Connect Four.
Missy: That was thoughtful of me.

Missy: Do I have to wait for Sheldon? Can't I just go now?
Mary: No, we're going together as a family.
Sheldon: Greetings, Mother. I'm ready to beam down to the party.
Mary: You go on ahead.
Missy: Oh, thank you, Jesus.

[Sheldon walks down the hallway, walks into his bedroom, stands beside his bed, and meekly punches his mattress]
Missy: That was the lamest tantrum I've ever seen.

Paige: Ooh.
Missy: What's that?
Paige: Body glitter.
Missy: That's so much better than regular glitter.

Mary: How was practice?
Missy: Great. I hit the ball further than anyone.
Mary: Sounds like a little prayer helped after all.
Missy: I guess it did.
Mary: You seem surprised.
Missy: Well, God knows everything, and I have some pretty evil thoughts.
Mary: Oh, Missy.
Missy: Ooh, what if I start wearing a cross so God knows I mean business?
Mary: You could also clean up your thinking.
Missy: Nah.

Sheldon: I'm not going to ask some magical being to solve my problems.
Missy: I asked him to help me with my batting, and he did.
Sheldon: There's a pottery kiln in art class. We can use that. [o.s.] Georgie, I figured it out!
Missy: [to the heavens] Good job, but that does not count as one of my wishes.

Missy: Are you mad at me?
Mary: No.
Missy: You sure? 'Cause that's how you look when Dad had that breakfast beer.

Mary: Sheldon, lots of people get their teeth pulled. It's not a big deal.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Stop enjoying this.
Missy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, you're not.
Missy: No, I'm not.

Missy: You know this is your fault.
Sheldon: You're the one who read the letter.
Missy: You went in her nightstand.
Sheldon: I was only looking for a flashlight. It's not my fault Mom was hiding things there.
Missy: They're fighting 'cause you're a freak. That's your fault. You know I'm right.

Missy: I'm glad Mom didn't come.
George Sr.: Why's that?
Missy: I can spit when I'm on the mound.
George Sr.: You can hock up anything you want today.
Missy: [snorts]
George Sr.: Not here.
Missy: Aw.

Mary: Can we please just eat?
George Jr.: Chicken's good.
George Sr.: Mrs. Sparks made it.
Missy: Huh?