Meemaw Quotes
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Mary: How'd it go?
Sheldon: Great. I feel a lot better.
Meemaw: Well, that's just wonderful.
Mary: So, you're going back to science?
Sheldon: No. In fact, I'm going as far away from science as possible. I plan to pursue the arts.
Mary: What kind of arts?
Sheldon: I've decided to become an actor.
Meemaw: Of course you have.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Meemaw: You know, I actually did a little community theater back in my 20s.
George Sr.: Is that so?
Meemaw: I had a good part in Oklahoma. "I'm just a girl who can't say no."
Missy: Say no to what?
Meemaw: Well to-
Mary: Uh, eating her vegetables.
Meemaw: It was fun. But I'm pretty sure doing plays is just an excuse to change in front of each other backstage.
Missy: Really?
Meemaw: Yeah. Theater folk just love to take their clothes off.
Missy: How many people saw you naked?
Meemaw: A lot.
Mary: Mom.
George Sr.: Enough.
Meemaw: Y'all don't understand my sense of humor, either.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Meemaw: Now, I was a little unsure at first, but Sandy Duncan does play Peter Pan, so when you think about it-
George Sr.: Connie, you're not helping.
Meemaw: Okay.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Missy: I think I see his underpants.
Meemaw: I told you. Theatre folk just love to show off their business.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Meemaw: Sheldon's got a girlfriend. What are the odds?
Mary: She's not a girlfriend, it's more of a mental rapport.
Meemaw: That's where it starts.
George Sr.: I did win you over with my superior intellect.
Mary: It was your motorcycle and you know it.
Meemaw: Good thing it wasn't your masculine physique, because that is long gone.
George Sr.: Why do you think I kept the motorcycle?
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
George Jr.: How come he gets to tie up the phone and I can't?
Meemaw: Because what is happening in there is called a miracle, and God-fearing people do not get in the way of those.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Mary: I don't want my little boy in some car with a teenager behind the wheel.
George Sr.: All high school kids drive.
Mary: Yeah? Well, I don't like it. Would you let me get in a car with a stranger when I was young?
Meemaw: Well, nobody ever asked you out, so it didn't really matter.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
[Sheldon is throwing laundry in the dryer]
Mary: What am I supposed to do with this?
Meemaw: Send him over to my house before he runs out of gas.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Mary: Well, I am happy to report that my potato salad is once again the hit of the potluck.
George Sr.: That's great, honey.
Mary: I feel bad for Pam Staples. No one's touching her potato salad.
Sheldon: If you feel bad, then why are you smiling?
Meemaw: 'Cause sometimes your mommy's a big ol' hypocrite.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Meemaw: I'm in the prime of my life. I got my water aerobics and my salsa dancing and my bowling league.
Mary: But you love your grandchildren.
Meemaw: I love ice cream, too, but I don't want to eat it from 3:00 to 6:00 five days a week.
Mary: Well, I'm very disappointed.
Meemaw: And I'm fine with that.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Meemaw: Okay, now, what are we talking about here? Sheldon is intelligent and responsible, and Missy is ... his sister.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Meemaw: I think they'll be fine home alone all by themselves for a couple hours after school.
Mary: You think?
Meemaw: I do. As a matter of fact, I actually think it'll be great for them. These kids today are so coddled, I honestly think y'all are raising a whole generation of sissies.
Mary: Is that the way you speak about your grandchildren?
Meemaw: Yes.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Sheldon: Why were you sneaking around out there?
Missy: Yeah, you scared us.
Meemaw: I was checking up on you two. And in case you're wondering, you scared me back.
Sheldon: Well, why didn't you knock?
Meemaw: Because you two are supposed to be doing this on your own.
Missy: And you don't think we can.
Meemaw: Of course I do. I'm the one who told your mother that you were fine by yourselves in the first place.
Sheldon: Then why were you checking up on us?
Meemaw: That's called being two-faced.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: It's not funny.
Meemaw: Oh, come on, now. Sheldon in detention? That's funny.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
George Sr.: I actually think it'd be good for him. He needs to learn he's not special.
Mary: But he is special.
George Sr.: You know what I mean. He can't just walk out of a classroom 'cause he feels like it.
Mary: He was worried about catching a cold. That is a legitimate concern. And now he's in danger of being mugged by a roomful of hoodlums.
George Sr.: He's not getting mugged. It's half a dozen kids doing homework while a teacher watches 'em.
Meemaw: Although it might not hurt to give Sheldon a few dollars to buy himself some protection.
George Sr.: That's actually not a bad idea.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: Not so funny now, is it?
Meemaw: No. How long is he suspended for?
George Sr.: A week.
Mary: And it goes on his permanent record.
Meemaw: Well, that's no big deal. I had all kinds of stuff on my permanent high school record. Didn't stop me from being a bartender for eight years.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
George Sr.: I think the real issue we need to deal with is his germ phobia.
Meemaw: Oh, yes, you don't want him turning into Howard Hughes. Growing his nails out. Peeing in a jar.
George Sr.: Why would he pee into a jar?
Meemaw: I don't know why he peed in a jar, I just know he did.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Meemaw: Just when you think he's gonna zig, you get a big old zag.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
George Sr.: It's ridiculous. I'm I'm gonna take it down.
Mary: No, you can't force him out of a phobia.
George Sr.: What do we do? He can't live in there.
Mary: Well, actually, he can. He's got the refrigerator and a sleeping bag.
Meemaw: And he can always go potty in the sink.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: If you're not gonna help, please go inside. This is not a show.
Meemaw: Now that's where I disagree.
- View another character
- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon