Latest Quotes

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: Well, now, we're not exactly done shopping. Sheldon, you still want that computer?
Sheldon: I thought we couldn't afford it.
Mary: Don't you worry about that. Do you want it or not?
Sheldon: More than anything.
Mary: All right, then, let's go get it.
Missy: Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy?
Mary: I thought you liked it.
Missy: Not anymore.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much.
Sheldon: Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me.
Mary: I'm glad you're happy, Missy.
Missy: I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.
George Jr.: Yeah, well, now you do. What did you get?
Sheldon: A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart, a fruit cup, a brownie, and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me. I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Mom and Dad are fighting because you want to get a stupid computer.
Sheldon: What are you talking about?
George Jr.: Mom wanted to buy it for you, Dad said they couldn't afford it, Meemaw offered to pay for it, and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch. I hate making my own lunch.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Hey. I hope you're happy.
Sheldon: Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: You going to apologize? Dad! Dad! If you are, bring back meat!

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: What's for breakfast?
George Sr.: I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.
George Jr.: Mom usually makes us eggs and toast and the occasional meat.
George Sr.: Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
George Jr.: Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: The minute he found out I had money set aside, he felt threatened. And you know why? 'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him.
Meemaw: Sleeping in your mommy's bed?
Mary: You know what I mean.
Meemaw: You gonna buy Sheldon that computer?
Mary: Well, now I have to.
Meemaw: Got it. You do know I still have an active love life.
Mary: Just go to sleep.
Meemaw: On this very bed.
Mary: Oh, Mom.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: I love you, and I love the kids, but I love you better living across the street.
Mary: Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you.
Meemaw: Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's a little spat.
Mary: No, this was a long time coming. This goes to the very core of our relationship.
Meemaw: I see we're sticking with dramatic.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: I don't want to get in your business, but since you're getting in my bed, I'm getting in your business.
Mary: Go ahead.
Meemaw: When you leaving?

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?
Mary: Of course not.
Sheldon: Are you sure? Packing up your kids in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom has all the earmarks of a divorce.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: Sheldon, we've talked about this. You don't need to announce to people how things smell.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: Well, I got to tell you how happy I am that y'all are spending the night with me.
Sheldon: Your house smells like cigarettes.
Meemaw: So happy.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Adult Sheldon: Georgie married his first wife at 19. He never paid my father.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Sr.: This little tiff between your mom and me will blow over. Don't make a big deal of it.
George Jr.: I'm not. I'm just saying I'm better suited to the single life.
George Sr.: And how do you picture that?
George Jr.: Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral, where there's all kinds of choices and you can have as much as you want?
George Sr.: Yeah.
George Jr.: It'll be like that, only with hot girls.
George Sr.: Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars you're married before you're 25.
George Jr.: You got a bet. I feel like I'm stealing your money.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: I'll get it! [answering the phone suavely] Hello, Georgie speaking.
Missy: Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: I ain't never getting married.
George Sr.: That so?
George Jr.: Yeah. Women are nothing but trouble.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: What's he got in there?
Mary: Everything.