Latest Quotes

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: Fine, the cat's name is Mittens.
George Jr.: Because he has little white feet?
Sheldon: Sure.
George Sr.: So, in this thought experiment, do you think Mittens is dead or alive?
Sheldon: There's no way of saying until you open the box.
George Jr.: Oh, come on.
Sheldon: Optimistically, I would choose to believe he's alive.
George Jr.: Yes!
George Sr.: Oh, thank goodness.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: Schrodinger's cat is a thought experiment. A cat in a box is exposed to poison, and is both alive and dead until it is observed.
George Jr.: So the cat's name is Schrodinger?
Sheldon: No.
George Jr.: Well, what's its name?
Sheldon: Its name doesn't matter.
George Jr.: It does if the cat was dead. Otherwise, what are you gonna put on his tombstone?
George Sr.: Not likely the cat's getting a tombstone.
George Jr.: It would in a pet cemetery.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: Huh, both alive and dead, just like Schrodinger's cat.
George Sr.: I didn't know he had a cat.
Sheldon: You've heard of Schrodinger?
George Sr.: Sure. It's the kid from Charlie Brown who plays the piano. Lucy's got a crush on him.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: This is a terrible driving game.
George Sr.: Is it roadkill if it's still twitchin'?

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

George Jr.: Dead armadillo. That's three for me.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Missy: Seriously, I'm melting.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: I don't like you making me out to be the bad guy just 'cause I won't let my daughter do whatever she wants.
Meemaw: I gave you a lot of freedom, you turned out okay.
Mary: You didn't give me freedom. You were never around.
Meemaw: Is that so?
Mary: I guarantee I made supper for Charlene and Edward more times than you ever did. I basically raised 'em.
Meemaw: You think I was out dancing? I was out working two jobs so your daddy could lose all our money on that damn chain of Fotomats!
Mary: It wasn't Daddy's fault that those little things blew over every time there was a storm.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Missy: My head is so hot!
Meemaw: She is such a hoot.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

George Jr.: You might want to open a window.
George Sr.: Oh, boy.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: Did you always want to be a football coach?
George Sr.: Well, I always wanted to play. At least till I got hurt.
Sheldon: Mm. Were you a good player?
George Sr.: Eh, not really. I was just bigger than the other kids.
Sheldon: So you compensated for mediocrity by being large.
George Sr.: I guess.
Sheldon: That works for cattle as well.
George Sr.: Oh, well, thanks for pointing that out.
Sheldon: You're welcome.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Sheldon: Dad?
George Sr.: Yeah?
Sheldon: Would you like to have a conversation?
George Sr.: Yeah. Sure. Absolutely.
Sheldon: All right, what would you like to talk about?
George Sr.: Um, well, let's see. Uh, have you given much thought to what you want to be when you grow up?
Sheldon: I have.
George Sr.: Great. ... And what would that be?
Sheldon: Oh, most likely a scientist. Unless I stay in Texas, then I'm thinking cattle baron.
George Sr.: Cattle baron?
Sheldon: Assuming I don't have to touch the cows.
George Sr.: Goes without saying.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Your hair's not changing color.
Missy: Aw.
Meemaw: Sorry, kiddo. Your mom is no fun.
Mary: Excuse me, I'm fun.
Missy: So I can color my hair?
Mary: Not a chance. But I'm very much fun.
Meemaw: Whatever you need to believe. Mein Fuhrer.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Missy: So what are we gonna do?
Mary: How would you like to go to the beauty salon and get all done up?
Missy: Can I have orange hair like Cyndi Lauper?
Mary: I don't think so.
Missy: Meemaw has friends with blue hair.
Meemaw: She's right. I haven't gone there yet, but after a certain age, it's mandatory.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Isn't this exciting? It's just us girls, no boys in the house.
Meemaw: The place already smells better.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: You're a good dad.
George Sr.: If I don't kill one of them before Sunday, I'm a good dad.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Oh, come on, sit up front with your daddy. He doesn't get to spend enough time with you.
George Jr.: I called shotgun.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: We'll flip a coin. All right? Georgie, call it.
George Jr.: Heads.
George Sr.: Tails.
George Jr.: Dang it.
George Sr.: Sheldon, you won. You get to ride up front.
Sheldon: Can't we do two out of three?
George Sr.: You won. Get in the car.
George Jr.: What's the point in calling shotgun?

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

George Jr.: Shotgun!
Mary: No, no. Let your brother sit up front for a change.
Sheldon: I actually prefer sitting in the back. It's safer.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Wait, Georgie. Where's your bag?
George Jr.: Don't need one. Got my toothbrush right here.
Mary: What about clothes? A change of underwear?
George Jr.: Got it.
Mary: Georgie, you're gonna be gone for two days.
George Jr.: I'll turn them inside out.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: What's going on?
George Sr.: I can't find Sheldon.
Mary: What do you mean, you can't find him?
George Sr.: I mean I don't know where he is.
Mary: Well, he's got to be somewhere.
George Sr.: Maybe he got that time machine to work.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Okay, let's talk about food.
George Sr.: No need to. He likes his meat cooked to at least 165 degrees, except for chicken which is 180. The different foods can't touch each other on the plate. Ketchup and mustard must come out of a packet. No bottles.
Mary: What about his issues with spaghetti?
George Sr.: That's a trick question. He likes spaghetti.