Sheldon: Hello. Am I correct that the bus to Dallas has a stop in Rusk?
Stan: Yup.
Sheldon: I'd like to buy one ticket, please.
Stan: You need an adult to buy it.
Sheldon: Oh, I didn't know.
Stan: That's the rules.
Sheldon: I'm just trying to visit my friend in the hospital. Not the regular kind of hospital, a psychiatric hospital. He's actually a brilliant scientist in the field of theoretical physics. Dr. John Sturgis, you may have heard of him. Anyway, he's a great guy. We're almost the same height... And then he and my meemaw became a romantic item, not that there haven't been bumps in the road. I actually helped them by writing up a relationship agreement. I love drawing up contracts. But I don't love drawing. Interesting. Anyway, he doesn't drive. Maybe one day he'll take a bus and you'll get to meet him. Anyway... Even though I'm clearly her favorite grandchild, she swatted my bottom. It didn't hurt that much physically, but emotionally, it stung like the dickens.
Stan: Here you go. One ticket to Dallas with a stop in Rusk.
Sheldon: But that's against the rules.
Stan: I'm an adult, I bought it.
Sheldon: Ooh, a loophole. Thank you. I'd tell you all about the etymology of the word "loophole," but I have a bus to catch.

Missy: "I knew you were going to open this the moment I left. To slow you down I've shrouded my destination in code." What a dork.

Adult Sheldon: The world had stopped making sense. A grown-up had lied to me, my meemaw and I were at odds, I was in trouble with my parents. I had to find a way to restore balance.

George Jr.: Veronica.
Veronica: Oh, hey.
George Jr.: Come here. I got something for you.
Veronica: Ooh, is it candy?
George Jr.: No, but it is pretty sweet.
Veronica: Georgie, what did you do?
George Jr.: Just open it.
Veronica: This looks expensive.
George Jr.: It was. Check out the price tag.
Veronica: $100?
George Jr.: And that's without tax.
Veronica: I can't accept this.
George Jr.: B-But I bought it for you.
Veronica: Well, you shouldn't have.
George Jr.: I don't get you. I went out of my way to buy you something nice and you don't even want it.
Veronica: Georgie, it's too much. I mean, you're not gonna impress me by throwing money around.
George Jr.: You sure? In "Material Girl," Madonna loves it.

George Jr.: Let me tell you the move: You mix a bag of these with a bag of these mm, heaven.
Derek: You just want me to buy two bags.
George Jr.: I just want you to be happy.
Derek: Fine.
George Jr.: And now I'm happy.

Mary: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Sheldon: Yes. I really wanted to go to this lecture, and I understand that I upset Meemaw very much. So which one of you will be taking me?
Mary: No one's taking you.
George Sr.: You're not going, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You two are even more selfish than Meemaw.
[cut to Sheldon in his bedroom:]
Missy: How long you grounded for?
Sheldon: A month.
Missy: That sounds right.

Mary: You were very rude to your grandmother.
Sheldon: Dad's rude to her all the time.
George Sr.: That is not... the point.

George Jr.: I'm interested in getting some jewelry.
Susan: Well, sure, what's the occasion?
George Jr.: There's a young lady, and I'd like to get her something special.
Susan: Well, aren't you sweet?
George Jr.: I like to think so.
Susan: So what are you looking for? A necklace, ankle bracelet, uh, earrings?
George Jr.: Hmm. Tough to choose between her neck, ankles and ears. They're all smokin' hot.

Sheldon: Mom! Meemaw swatted me on the bottom!
Mary: What? Why?
Sheldon: I wanted something, and then she said no, and then I called her selfish, and then she went crazy!
Mary: Let me call her.
Missy: Really? You don't want to thank her in person?

Meemaw: We're done talking about this. And I'm not taking you to that lecture!
Sheldon: But I really want to go.
Meemaw: Too bad!
Sheldon: You are incredibly selfish.
Meemaw: Excuse me?
Sheldon: You just care about what you want. You don't care about what I want. You're selfish. How come your eyes stopped blinking?

Meemaw: What, exactly did you say to Dr. Linkletter?
Sheldon: [quietly] I said Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling from the library. [normally] And he said-
Meemaw: Get to the point.
Sheldon: He's not using me to spend time with you. He said so. You're wrong.
Meemaw: You had no business calling him, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You seem upset. Are you embarrassed because you were wrong?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Are you sure? I would be.
Meemaw: I'm not wrong. He's lying to you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Interesting. I don't know who to believe.
Meemaw: Really? You're gonna believe some guy you barely know over your own grandmother?
Sheldon: Well, one of them said I'm really smart, and one of them's yelling at me right now.

Sheldon: Good news. You can take me to the lecture after all.
Meemaw: Why is that?
Sheldon: I told Dr. Linkletter everything you-
Meemaw: Stop. Come inside.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: 'Cause there's kids in this neighborhood who don't need to hear the language I'm about to use.

George Jr.: Hey, you look like a Kit Kat man.

George Jr.: What can I say? I'm entrepreneurialistic.
Veronica: Is that a word?
George Jr.: I don't know. But if you got a lot of money, you get to make stuff up.

George Jr.: Hey, Veronica.
Veronica: What was that about?
George Jr.: Just conducting a little business.
Veronica: Careful. When my sister sold stuff at school, she ended up in juvie.

George Jr.: You sure you're only a freshman? 'Cause you got the sophisticated taste buds of a junior.

Dr. Linkletter: [answering phone] Grant Linkletter.
Sheldon: [whispering] This is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling from a library.
Dr. Linkletter: [whispering] Hello, Sheldon. Nice to hear from you.
Sheldon: Why are you whispering? Are you in a library?
Dr. Linkletter: Good point. [clears throat, speaks normally:] How can I help you?
Sheldon: My meemaw doesn't want to take me to the lecture because she thinks that you're just using me to spend time with her.
Dr. Linkletter: I see. Well, you're an intelligent young man. What do you think?
Sheldon: I think she's wrong, and you invited me because you know I appreciate the subject matter.
Dr. Linkletter: Exactly right. You're even smarter than I thought.
Sheldon: I knew it. [to Tam] My meemaw couldn't be more wrong.
Kid: Shh!
Sheldon: Oh, like you were reading a book anyway.

Sheldon: Tam, I need help navigating a social situation.
Tam: I'm eating lunch with you. You think I have the answer?
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter invited me to a lecture on robotics, but my meemaw said he's only doing it to spend time with her.
Tam: Are you asking if men do sketchy things to get dates?
Sheldon: Yes.
Tam: Well, then, I can help you. Absolutely. Last week, I told Jessica Geiger I was an extra in Karate Kid Part II.
Sheldon: Did it work?
Tam: Again, I'm having lunch with you.

George Jr.: Hey? What you buying?
Preston: M&Ms?
George Jr.: Cool. Peanut or plain?
Preston: Am I in trouble?
George Jr.: You are if you waste your money on that machine.
Preston: What?
George Jr.: I'm selling the same stuff for half the price.
Preston: Cool. Oh, you got Abba-Zabas?
George Jr.: Do I have Abba-Zabas.
Preston: ... Do you?
George Jr.: Yeah.

Meemaw: There are certain grown-up dynamics taking place here that you, you might not be aware of.
Sheldon: Well, I like quantum-chromodynamics and thermodynamics; perhaps I'll like grown-up dynamics. Tell me.
Meemaw: I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter might be paying special attention to you so he can become better friends with me.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: You're just gonna have to trust me on this one.
Sheldon: Are you saying he doesn't really want me at this lecture?
Meemaw: No, I'm just saying he really wants me at this lecture.
Sheldon: But that's illogical. He knows you're in a relationship with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: And now we're back to it's complicated, so drop it.
Sheldon: I'll try, but dropping things is not where I shine.