Alex Trebek: [on TV] Animated films. Frog anatomy. The Bible.
Missy: Why are you watching Jeopardy?
George Sr.: Sheldon's not the only one who likes to learn stuff.
Missy: You don't know where the remote is.
George Sr.: It's right here. It's just out of batteries.
Missy: Want me to get some?
George Sr.: A can of beer while you're up.

George Sr.: The point is, he didn't listen to us then, he's not gonna listen now.
Mary: So, we do nothing?
George Sr.: We let him make his own mistakes.
Mary: That just sounds like another way of saying we do nothing. I'm gonna go down there.
George Sr.: And that's a mistake I'm gonna let you make. [Mary sighs] [TV continues indistinctly] Missy! Batteries!

Sheldon: Did you talk to my teacher?
George Sr.: I did.
Sheldon: So, is he gonna tell me what I'm doing wrong?
George Sr.: I'm going to. You're sitting here waiting to be handed the answer and that's not how life is. You got to work for it.
Sheldon: I don't want to hear a football pep talk.
George Sr.: Hey. This isn't football. This is real. Your professor's right. Now, instead of pouting, take charge of your own life.

Professor Boucher: Look... your son is obviously brilliant, but coddling him won't prepare him for the real world.
George Sr.: I've been saying that since the day he was born.
Professor Boucher: Sometimes you have to break them down to build them back up.
George Sr.: I do that with my football players. At least, I try to, but then the parents get all bent out of shape, they come into my office.
Professor Boucher: You don't say.
George Sr.: Yeah, you would not believe... Oh. Y-You mean me. Got it.
Professor Boucher: You figured it out again.
George Sr.: Hey, I'm two for two.

George Sr.: What's going on?
Sheldon: I can't figure out this engineering project. And every time I turn it in, my professor just rips it up.
George Sr.: Well, ain't this the fella you liked?
Sheldon: I did, when I thought he was pushing me to be all I could be, but it turns out all he can be is mean.

Professor Boucher: So, let me guess. You think I'm being too hard on him and you want me to lighten up?
George Sr.: He is having a tough time.
Professor Boucher: It's a tough class.
George Sr.: Look, I get it. I was in the Army, too, I-I'm all for being strict, but... he doesn't even know where he's going wrong. You know, maybe you could just point him in the right direction?
Professor Boucher: You mean, give him the answer?
George Sr.: No, no. Would you?
Professor Boucher: What do you think?
George Sr.: No.
Professor Boucher: See? I didn't give you the answer and you figured it out.

Sheldon: Could you talk to him?
George Sr.: You're in college now. Don't you think you should fight your own battles?
Sheldon: Does telling on him to the president of the university count?
George Sr.: Did it work?
Sheldon: No.
George Sr.: Then no.

Sheldon: Will you please talk to him?
George Sr.: [sighs] Ooh, what if your mom does it?
Sheldon: But you were both in the Army. And you're both crabby and impatient. There's a lot of common ground.
George Sr.: You really got under this guy's skin, huh?
Sheldon: It would seem so.
George Sr.: Lot of common ground.

Mary: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed your class.
Sheldon: For our first assignment, we get to build a bridge. Professor Boucher was part of the Army Corps of Engineers, and he built bridges all over the world.
George Sr.: You know, I was also in the Army.
Sheldon: Ooh, perhaps you trudged across one of his bridges. How neat would that be?
Missy: I bet Dad did cool Army stuff, too.
George Sr.: Nope. "Trudging" sums it up.

Mary: Missy was asking about sex.
George Sr.: What? You don't think that she's...
Mary: No. But she's clearly interested in the topic.
George Sr.: That's it... she's grounded till she's 21.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: Well, maybe it's good this pastor wants to talk about it. I sure as hell don't.
Mary: [scoffs] You're unbelievable.
George Sr.: I had to do it with Georgie, and it was a disaster.
Mary: Well, here is a chance to do it right.
George Sr.: I have two words for you: not it.

Billy Sparks: Well, I'm never asking anybody out again.
George Sr.: You will. At least the worst part's over.
Billy Sparks: Doesn't feel like it.
George Sr.: Hey. You got rejected, but was it the end of the world?
Billy Sparks: No.
George Sr.: And that is extremely valuable information. A lot of guys don't learn that and stop taking chances. And honestly, you dodged a bullet with Missy. The girl is mean.
Billy Sparks: Thanks.

Brenda Sparks: Hey.
George Sr.: Thanks for letting me come by.
Brenda Sparks: Sure.
George Sr.: How's he doing?
Brenda Sparks: I don't know. He never tells me anything.
George Sr.: Well, Missy talks. It is not an improvement.

George Sr.: Tough week, huh?
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah, I been there.
Billy Sparks: You have?
George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Darcy Lockhart, eighth grade. Shut me down on the school bus.
Billy Sparks: That sounds awful.
George Sr.: Couldn't even leave. Just had to sit there. I asked nine stops too early.
Billy Sparks: What did you do?
George Sr.: I felt bad for a while, but then I asked out Maggie Gormly.
Billy Sparks: She said yes?
George Sr.: Absolutely not. And would you believe I did it on the bus a second time? What a dope.

George Sr.: So, how'd it go?
Sheldon: I had Dr. Sturgis present his ideas to Dr. Linkletter like you said.
George Sr.: And?
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: John, I must say, that might be the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Big talk coming from the man who thought the whole thing could be explained with classical field theory.
[present:]
George Sr.: Oh, no. Then what happened?
Sheldon: Well...
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Why on earth would you bring this crackpot into my lab?
[present:]
George Sr.: You didn't mention me, did you?
[flashback:]
Sheldon: Because we're all on Team Science, and don't we want Team Science to win?
[present:]
George Sr.: Okay, good.
Sheldon: But then...
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: "Team Science"?
Dr. Linkletter: And where did you get that bit of clichéd nonsense?
Sheldon: My dad.
[present:]
George Sr.: [exhales]

Missy: What did you say to Billy?
George Sr.: Uh... What did Billy say to you?
Missy: He asked me out. And he said he talked to you about it?
George Sr.: Well, yes, but...
Missy: Why wouldn't you warn me? He asked me out in front of my friends.
George Sr.: I didn't tell him to do it. I-I told him to think about it.
Missy: Well, he thought about it, and then he did it, so thanks a lot. [walks away]
George Sr.: [sighs] Wayne was right.
Missy: [turns back] You told Coach Wilkins?
George Sr.: A little.
Missy: His wife is my teacher. Do you have any idea how bad this is?
George Sr.: I'm putting it together. [Missy huffs angrily] I didn't tell him to do it!

George Sr.: You don't want to be the rebound guy.
Billy Sparks: What's that?
George Sr.: That's the guy after the guy she really liked and before the next guy she really likes.
Billy Sparks: What?
George Sr.: You and Missy are friends. You go to school together. That could make things complicated if it doesn't go well.
Billy Sparks: I didn't think about that.
George Sr.: If she turns you down, you're gonna have to see her all the time.
Billy Sparks: But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.
George Sr.: [sighs] I just think you ought to take a minute and figure out if it's really worth it. I-It's like football. You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line, but if you don't make it, it's game over.
Billy Sparks: You're not just a football coach. You're a coach of life.

George Sr.: Trips left, man in motion. Here comes a pass. [crowd cheers on TV] See that?
Billy Sparks: Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.
George Sr.: Congratulations. You're the only person to ever say that.
Billy Sparks: What's gonna happen next?
George Sr.: You gonna get me a beer.
Billy Sparks: Yes, sir.

George Sr.: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George Sr.: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter and I are stuck on a science problem. I know Dr. Sturgis could help, but I'm hesitant to suggest that because I know they have a professional rivalry.
George Sr.: Well, the way I see it, y'all are on Team Science, right?
Sheldon: I suppose.
George Sr.: And people on the same team don't have to get along to work together.
Sheldon: Like you and Mom.
George Sr.: No. A quarterback and his receivers. He doesn't throw it to the guy he likes best. He throws it to the one that's open.
Billy Sparks: So smart.
Sheldon: So, I should ask Dr. Sturgis what he thinks about the dark matter being a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: Do you want Team Science to win?
Sheldon: Thank you. This has been helpful. [exits]
Billy Sparks: What's a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: I'll tell you at halftime.

George Sr.: Let's just put this down for a few days.
Missy: Why? 'Cause you don't want to hear him complain?
George Sr.: Bingo.