George Sr. Quotes
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Dale: Well, I-I was married for 18 years and I got to tell you, those were the two best years of my life.
George Sr.: Ah. What's it like, you know, being single at your age?
Dale: Why, you thinking about it?
George Sr.: No, no, everything's fine. Happily married, just, uh, just curious.
Dale: Yeah. Come on, now. She's not here. Well, to answer your question, it's just great. See, I get to wander around my house in my underwear, and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose whenever I choose.
George Sr.: Ah. I do that now.
Dale: Well, then, you got yourself a keeper.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
George Sr.: So how'd you wind up coaching baseball?
Dale: Well, with the sporting goods store, you know, I've sponsored a couple of teams, and then this year, my grandson wanted to play, so it lets me spend more time with him.
George Sr.: That's nice. Yeah, I coach my son in football.
Dale: Sheldon?
George Sr.: Oh, God, no. Can you imagine?
Dale: You really scared me there for a second.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Connie's great. You can have a beer with her, watch a football game, joke around. She doesn't mind if you swear. In fact, that woman's got a mouth on her.
Dale: I have noticed that.
George Sr.: Yeah. You know, I just realized something. I got more in common with my mother-in-law than I do my own wife.
Dale: That's kind of creepy.
George Sr.: Yeah. Let's hope the beer does its job and I don't remember this tomorrow.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Dale: Well, hey, tell me something about this guy she was seeing.
George Sr.: Mm. The scientist.
Dale: Really? A scientist?
George Sr.: Yeah, not with test tubes; more with arithmetic, thinking and stuff.
Dale: Uh-huh. A physicist.
George Sr.: There you go. Yeah. Nice enough fella. Always reminded me of that cartoon owl in the Tootsie Pop commercials.
Dale: Hmm. Well, why'd they break up?
George Sr.: Uh, you know. You know, things happen.
Dale: Uh-huh. What things?
George Sr.: Eh.
Dale: Come on, now. At least tell me if there's something I need to worry about.
George Sr.: Oh, no. Connie's rock solid. Unless you put on a little weight. Then you will hear about it.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Dale: Uh, you want to switch to light beer?
George Sr.: Hey. I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
George Sr.: Morning. Just a reminder, I'm gonna be late tonight. Hanging with my new buddy Dale.
Meemaw: Well, I hope you two have fun together.
George Sr.: Oh, we will. So much to talk about.
Mary: You better respect her privacy.
George Sr.: Oh, I don't plan on doing that at all.
Meemaw: Don't you need to go to work?
George Sr.: Yes, but I don't want to leave until I know you're upset.
Meemaw: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not.
George Sr.: Yeah, you are. Bye.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
George Sr.: You sure you don't want me to stay?
Sheldon: You promised you'd take me to RadioShack.
George Sr.: Sheldon, this is a big day for your sister.
Missy: I'm fine, Dad.
George Sr.: Come on. I really don't want to go to RadioShack.
Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting
Sheldon: It's nice that you're going to socialize with Meemaw's new boyfriend.
George Sr.: I know. She's gonna hate it.
Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm
George Sr.: [shouting] Missy, five minutes!
Meemaw: Oh. Can you please?
George Sr.: Oh. Sorry. Been there. [shouting] She's hungover! Wants us to keep it down!
Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm
Coach Wilkins: Missy want to play ball?
George Sr.: How do you know I wasn't calling for Sheldon? Fine, it was Missy.
Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm
Missy: Dad, can I talk to you?
George Sr.: Uh, can it wait a minute?
Missy: It's pretty important.
George Sr.: So's this.
Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm
Missy: I've been thinking about how much I enjoyed throwing that ball today.
George Sr.: You did great, honey.
Missy: I know. That's why I want to play on a team.
George Sr.: You get that dunk tank isn't a sport?
Missy: I mean baseball.
George Sr.: Okay, sure. They don't have any baseball teams for girls. Wait a few years, you can play softball.
Missy: I don't want to wait. I want to play baseball.
George Sr.: But you'd be the only girl.
Missy: I don't care.
George Sr.: Okay, well I-I guess I can look into it.
Missy: Thanks, Daddy.
George Sr.: Sure you don't want to play soccer or something?
Missy: Nope!
George Sr.: Cheerleading?
Missy: Baseball!
George Sr.: Yeah.
Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship
Nate: Hey, George. Who's your friend?
George Sr.: Hey, Nate. This is John Sturgis. He's a scientist.
Dr. John Sturgis: Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nate.
Nate: What can I get you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Um, do you have sarsaparilla?
George Sr.: Two beers. We'll take two beers.
Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship
Dr. John Sturgis: Can you believe Connie was my first girlfriend?
George Sr.: Really?
Dr. John Sturgis: And probably my last.
George Sr.: Come on, don't talk like that.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it's true. She may not realize it, but this is all for the best. I'm damaged goods.
George Sr.: No, you're not.
Dr. John Sturgis: It had just been so long since I'd had an episode. I thought I was okay. [laughs] But, clearly, I'm not, and, uh, who knows if it'll happen again. And, uh, I just can't take the risk of putting Connie through that.
George Sr.: Hey, she's got problems, too. I've seen her take a wine cooler out of the trash and finish it.
Dr. John Sturgis: [laughs]
George Sr.: I'm not joking.
Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship
Mary: Why don't you take John to a bar or something?
George Sr.: Why?
Mary: 'Cause the children don't need to hear about how attractive he finds their grandmother.
George Sr.: Why don't you take him out?
Mary: Fine. You make sure the kids take baths and get to bed. Oh, and Sheldon needs his fingernails trimmed.
[cut to:]
George Sr.: Hey, John, what do you say you and I go grab a beer?
Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship
Mary: So, are you gonna go out with Ira?
Meemaw: Well, I don't know why not.
Mary: Is that really what you want?
Meemaw: Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna sit home by myself while I try and figure it out.
Mary: Doesn't sound like you're being nice to Ira.
George Sr.: She's not nice. Been saying it for years.
Quote from the episode Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip
George Sr.: Hey! You want to throw the ball around?
Missy: [crying] No, go away.
George Sr.: Did something happen at school?
Missy: [crying] I don't want to talk about it.
George Sr.: Okay. Well... You change your mind, you know I'm here for you. [starts to leave]
Missy: He likes someone else.
George Sr.: I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Missy: She doesn't even know who Nolan Ryan is.
George Sr.: This guy sounds like an idiot.
Missy: He's not. He's perfect.
George Sr.: All right. Want me to get your mom?
Missy: No.
George Sr.: You want me to beat this guy up?
Missy: No.
George Sr.: What can I do?
[Outside, George and Missy throw a ball around]
Quote from the episode Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip
George Sr.: Nice.
Missy: How do you make it curve?
George Sr.: Well, that's a little tricky. You you put two fingers on the seam. Right? And then you flick your wrist.
Missy: Okay.
George Sr.: Yeah? Here, try it.
Quote from the episode Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip
Mary: Dinner's ready.
Missy: Five more minutes?
George Sr.: She wants five more minutes with her ole dad.
Quote from the episode Hobbitses, Physicses and a Ball with Zip
Mary: You and Missy looked like you were having fun today.
George Sr.: Uh, yeah, we were.
Mary: A little father-daughter bonding.
George Sr.: Yeah. It was nice.
Mary: Hmm. You guys were out there for a while. What were you talking about?
George Sr.: Oh, you know, just life.
Mary: Sure. Everything okay?
George Sr.: Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about.
Mary: You're really not gonna tell me?
George Sr.: No.
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- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon