Brenda Sparks: What do you want?
Mary: I baked you a pie.
Brenda Sparks: Why?
Mary: Well, I was thinking we haven't had the best history as neighbors.
Brenda Sparks: That's 'cause we don't like each other.

Sheldon: Collecting! Collecting!
Brenda Sparks: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Mrs. Sparks. I'm here to collect for this week's paper delivery.
Brenda Sparks: Right. Hang on.
Sheldon: Also, I'm given to understand that tipping is customary, so feel free to express your appreciation.
Brenda Sparks: Here you go.
Sheldon: You tipped me a dime?
Brenda Sparks: Is there a problem?
Sheldon: No, it just doesn't seem like very much.
Brenda Sparks: You were late every day.
Sheldon: Well, I had to brave the elements.
Brenda Sparks: I saw you. "Brave" isn't the word that I would use. [cackles]

Brenda Sparks: How do we know that your son didn't lure Bucky in to perform weird science experiments on him?

Mary: George! You are not gonna believe this. Look. Their dog left a dead squirrel in our living room.
Herschel Sparks: Well, he is part hunting dog. I think that means he likes you.
Mary: I'm not interested in winning his affection. I'm interested in keeping dogs and rodents outside of my home.
Brenda Sparks: Well, now, hold on. How do we know it was Bucky that left that squirrel in your house? Maybe that squirrel was already there.
Mary: Why else would a dead squirrel be in my living room?
Brenda Sparks: I don't know what kind of house you keep.

Brenda Sparks: [on the tannoy] Connie Tucker to the front desk, please. Connie Tucker.
Mary: Why are you calling her?
Brenda Sparks: You say my daughter's harassing your son. Well, her daughter's harassing me.