Dale: Hey, uh, Cooper, you know, I think I'm gonna have you sit this one out and let Powell pitch.
Missy: Really?
Dale: Yeah. Kind of like to save your arm for the playoffs, okay?
Missy: Okay.
Billy Sparks: Do you want to save my arm, too?
Dale: No.
Billy Sparks: How about my legs?
Dale: You know, Billy, you never fail to brighten my day.
Billy Sparks: Cool.

Billy Sparks: Missy, will you rub your cross on my bat?
Missy: No.
Mary: Have you been doing that?
Missy: On mine. It's working great.
Billy Sparks: Please? I'll give you a dollar.
Missy: Fine.
Mary: What do you think you're doing?
Missy: Sharing God's love and making some cash. Absolutely not.
Billy Sparks: How about I give you the dollar?
Mary: God's love has nothing to do with money.
Missy: What about the collection plate at church?
Mary: That is different.
Billy Sparks: That's where I found this dollar.
Mary: Okay.
Billy Sparks: Bye.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon, if your pizza's too hot, put ice on it. That's what I did.

Billy Sparks: Hi, Mr. Cooper!
George Sr.: Billy. What are you doing? [turns engine off]
Billy Sparks: I'm mowing the lawn. What are you doing?
George Sr.: Did Georgie put you up to this?
Billy Sparks: Yeah. He's paying me.
George Sr.: That dummy.
Billy Sparks: I'm raising the money to buy a Jet Ski.

Missy: Your dad can't eat Matilda.
Billy Sparks: Sure, he can. He eats everything.
Missy: Billy, you've raised her from a chick. She's like your child. You wouldn't let somebody eat your child.
Billy Sparks: Does my child taste like chicken?
Missy: Billy!
Billy Sparks: Missy!

Billy Sparks: Pastor Jeff, do chickens go to heaven?
Pastor Jeff: Well, the Bible doesn't say much about the souls of animals, but I like to believe that God loves all his creatures. Why?
Billy Sparks: My dad wants to eat Matilda.
Brenda Sparks: It's not as bad as it sounds. She stopped laying eggs, so it's off with her head and into the fryer.
Pastor Jeff: Well, I will pray for her little chicken soul.
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles] Just pray she's juicy.

Billy Sparks: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Billy. I hear you're not feeling well.
Billy Sparks: I'm not. I have a cold.
Sheldon: That's too bad. Put her there.
Billy Sparks: Why?
Sheldon: Just shake my hand, Billy.
Billy Sparks: But my mom says that's how germs get spread.
Sheldon: I know.
Billy Sparks: You do? When did you talk to my mom?
Sheldon: Just, eh- [Sheldon grabs Billy's hand and rubs it over his face] Ugh!
Billy Sparks: Wait, want to play? Aw.

Brenda Sparks: What are you doing out here?
Billy Sparks: Playing with Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: You're missing your party.
Billy Sparks: But I'm having fun.
Sheldon: Do not be alarmed, our mission is one of peace.
Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely; my mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mom is on Valium.

Sheldon: Ensign Sparks, there appears to be a white object under this chicken.
Billy Sparks: It's called an egg.
Sheldon: Interesting. What is its function on this planet?
Billy Sparks: People eat them and throw them at me on Halloween.

Billy Sparks: What you doing?
Sheldon: Using my tricorder to collect data.
Billy Sparks: What's a tricorder?
Sheldon: It's a multifunctional handheld device used for scanning and analysis.
Billy Sparks: Cool. And what's everything you just said?
Sheldon: Fascinating.

Billy Sparks: I thought you didn't like chickens.
Sheldon: Sheldon doesn't like chickens. Mr. Spock finds them fascinating.
Billy Sparks: Who's Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: I'm Mr. Spock.
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.

Brenda Sparks: I can't believe you told on me to Pastor Jeff.
Mary: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Billy Sparks: [whispering] Hi, neighbor.
Mary: Hi.

Congregation: [singing] Heart of my Own heart
Billy Sparks: [singing] Old MacDonald Had a farm
Congregation: Still be my Vision O Ruler of all
Billy Sparks: E-I-E-I-O.

Dale: Hey, Billy! You're supposed to be warming up.
Billy Sparks: I found a worm!

Billy Sparks: Hi, Mrs. Cooper!
Mary: [whispers:] Hi, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Are you playing hide-and-seek?
Mary: Um, yeah. Don't tell anybody. Shh.
Billy Sparks: Bye, Mrs. Cooper!

Brenda Sparks: Oh, so you're spying on us. Good to know.

Sheldon: Why are you eating cereal for dinner?
Billy Sparks: I was hungry, and my parents are in their bedroom kissing.

Billy Sparks: Okay, ten cents a week for a whole year. I get the raccoon, and to tell people you're my girlfriend.
Missy: 15 cents a week, and if you say hello to me in school, I'll say hello back.
Billy Sparks: Deal.

Tam: You see a large red button. What do you do?
Billy Sparks: I press it.
Tam: The floor opens up and you plunge into a 60-foot pit.
Billy Sparks: I fly out. Up, up, and away!
Sheldon: Again, you're not Superman in this game; you're Superman for Halloween.
Tam: Which isn't till next week.
Billy Sparks: So I'm in a pit.
Tam: You're in a pit.
Billy Sparks: Then I blast my way out with my super breath! [BLOWING]
Sheldon: Just let him do it.

Billy Sparks: Did you know Superman has a dog? His name is Krypto. He plays fetch in space.