Adult Sheldon: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit. Obsessively fixating on them, now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Adult Sheldon: To say this first day was challenging would be an understatement. To say the rest of the week got better from there would be the kind of lie that sets pants on fire.

[After dodging the paper bundle]
Adult Sheldon: Fun fact, the larger Sunday paper required a second bundle. [Sheldon gets knocked down by the second bundle]

Adult Sheldon: After a week of tangling with animals, Mother Nature, and a delivery man with a good arm and a bad attitude, it was time to reap the benefits of my hard work.

Adult Sheldon: My father's wisdom touched me deeply. Which is why, to this day, no matter what I'm going through, I am never irritating or abusive to any of my friends or loved ones. Ask them. They'll tell you.

Adult Sheldon: For the next several months, I continued working my paper route until I paid my father back. And by working, I mean delegating.
[Billy Sparks is out in the rain, riding a bicycle with a wagon full of papers, as he hurls one at a house]
Billy Sparks: I have no idea where I am.

Mary: Hey, who are you calling?
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis.
Mary: Why?
Sheldon: I saw Meemaw get in a car with Mr. Rosenbloom.
Mary: No.... [dives across the room towards Sheldon]
Adult Sheldon: I don't know if it really happened this way, but to my nine-year-old mind, my mother was flying.

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I had an epiphany. I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity in a world that was often hard to understand. Article three Sheldon will not spy on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Adult Sheldon: I would go on to draw up such contracts throughout my life. With roommates. With my wife. Even with my own children.

Adult Sheldon: During that time, I saw three cars drive by and a raccoon dragging a slice of pizza.

Adult Sheldon: It was a beautiful morning in East Texas. The kind of morning that made you want to get up, get dressed and test that acceleration due to gravity does not depend on an object's motion.

Adult Sheldon: The Earth causes the same gravitational acceleration of everything, even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball. It's not often a man of science gets to say "Yippee ki-yay," and mean it, but-
Sheldon: Yippee ki-yay.

Adult Sheldon: In physics, nothing feels better than predicting an outcome. I love predictability. The force of gravity: predictable. Nuclear fusion: predictable. My brother peeing in the shower: repulsive, but predictable. What isn't predictable: dogs. I've always been terrified of dogs. To me, they're nothing but big, furry question marks. Question marks with teeth.

Sheldon: [DOG PANTING] Mom! [DOG BARKS]
Adult Sheldon: At least this time, sound came out. I call that progress.

Adult Sheldon: The basic premise of the book was that phobias were overcome by taking incremental steps toward confronting the phobia in question.
In my case, that started with watching a TV show that was adored by children around the world, but for me, was the stuff of nightmares. [Scooby Doo playing on TV]

Adult Sheldon: The next step was to go face-to-face with real dogs. Albeit through a plate-glass window.
Sheldon: Okay, that's enough.

Adult Sheldon: And finally, a close encounter of the third kind, physical contact with a member of the canine species.

Adult Sheldon: In my life, I've often been accused of being a physical coward, and for the most part, those accusations are correct. But there have been times when I've shown great courage. This was one of them.

Adult Sheldon: Whenever I wasn't being challenged intellectually, my brain was more than happy to step up and accommodate. It was like having the perfect playmate in my skull.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't know everything, but compared to her friends at water aerobics, I could see how it felt that way.